What this mind shaped into dreams and desires and pictures in its
musings, it would not be an easy matter to detail. The sum of the
revery--or, rather, the central goal up to which every differing train
of thought somehow managed to lead him--was that Kate Minster was the
most beautiful, the cleverest, the dearest, the loveliest, the most to
be adored and longed for, of all mortal women.
If he did not say to himself, in so many words, “I love her,” it was
because the phraseology was unfamiliar to him. That eternal triplet
of tender verb and soulful pronouns, which sings itself in our more
accustomed hearts to music set by the stress of our present senses--now
the gay carol of springtime, sure and confident; now the soft twilight
song, wherein the very weariness of bliss sighs forth a blessing;
now the vibrant, wooing ballad of a graver passion, with tears close
underlying rapture; now, alas! the dirge of hopeless loss, with wailing
chords which overwhelm like curses, smitten upon heartstrings strained
to the breaking--these three little words did not occur to him. But no
lover self-confessed could have dreamed more deliciously.
He had spoken with her twice now--once when she was wrapped in furs and
wore a bonnet, and once in her own house, where she was dressed in
a creamy white gown, with a cord and tassels about the waist. These
details were tangible possessions in the treasure-house of his memory.
The first time she had charmed and gratified his vague notions of what a
beautiful and generous woman should be; he had been unspeakably pleased
by the enthusiasm with which she threw herself into the plan for helping
the poor work-girls of the town. On this second occasion she had been
concerned only about the safety of her own money, and that of her
family, and yet his liking for her had flared up into something very
like a consuming flame. If there was a paradox here, the lawyer did not
see it.
There floated across his mind now and again stray black motes of
recollection that she had not seemed altogether pleased with him on this
later occasion, but they passed away without staining the bright colors
of his meditation. It did not matter what she had thought or said. The
fact of his having been there with her, the existence of that little
perfumed letter tenderly locked up in the desk before him, the
breathing, smiling, dark-eyed picture of her which glowed in his
brain--these were enough.
Once before--once only in his life--the personality of a woman had
seized command of his thoughts. Years ago, when he was still the
schoolteacher at the Burfield, he had felt himself in love with Annie
Fairchild, surely the sweetest flower that all the farm-lands of
Dearborn had ever produced. He had come very near revealing his
heart--doubtless the girl did know well enough of his devotion--but she
was in love with her cousin Seth, and Reuben had come to realize this,
and so had never spoken, but had gone away to New York instead.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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