So on and on he walked, with the dog following behind. And when
they had gone in this way the better part of a league, they saw a
cart on the roadside with a donkey harnessed thereto, holding his
head down. On a bank, at the side of the road, between two clumps of
thistles, reclined a man. He was very fat, and in one hand he held the
knuckle-end of a leg of mutton, and in the other hand a bottle. He
gnawed the knuckle-bone and drank from the bottle, but when he was
doing neither of these things he would fall to weeping and groaning.
Ulenspiegel stopped on his way, and the dog stopped too, but quickly
jumped up on to the bank, smelling doubtless a good odour of liver and
mutton. There he sat on his hind legs by the fat man's side, and began
to paw at the stranger's doublet, as much as to say, "Please give me
a share of your meal!" But the man elbowed him off, and holding up
the knuckle-bone in the air began to moan aloud most piteously. The
dog did likewise in the eagerness of his desire, while the donkey
(who was weary of being tied to the cart and thus prevented from
getting at the thistles) set up, in his turn, a most piercing bray.
"What's the matter now, Jan?" the man inquired of his donkey.
"Nothing," said Ulenspiegel, answering for him, "except that he would
fain make his breakfast off those thistles that grow there on either
side of you, like the thistles that are carved on the rood-screen at
Tessenderloo, below the figure of Our Lord. Nor would this dog here,
I'm thinking, be any the less inclined to join his jaws together on
the bone you have got there. But in the meanwhile I will give him a
piece of this liver of mine."
The man looked up at Ulenspiegel, who straightway recognized him as
none other than his friend Lamme Goedzak of Damme.
"Lamme," he cried, "you here? And what are you doing, eating and
drinking and moaning? Has some soldier or other been so impertinent
as to box your ears, or what's the matter? Tell me."
"Alas!" said Lamme, "my wife!"
And he would have emptied his bottle of wine there and then had not
Ulenspiegel laid a hand on his arm and suggested that it were fairer
that the drink should be given to him that had none. "Besides," he
added, "to drink thus distractedly profits naught but one's kidneys."
"Well said," answered Lamme, handing his friend the bottle, "but will
you drink, I wonder, to any better purpose?"
Ulenspiegel took the bottle, drank his fill, then handed it back again.
"Call me a Spaniard," he said, "if I've left enough to make a minnow
drunk!"
Lamme inspected the bottle. Then, without ever ceasing to groan,
he rummaged in his wallet and produced another bottle, and another
piece of sausage which he cut up in slices and began to munch in the
most melancholy fashion.
"Do you never stop eating, Lamme?" asked Ulenspiegel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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