His vanity was being stimulated just now by two opposite forces. He was
in love, as deeply as such a nature could love, with Sallie Worth. Her
continued rejection of his suit had wounded his vanity, but had roused
all the pugnacity of his nature to strengthen this apparent weakness.
He had discovered recently that he exercised a potent influence over
Mrs. Durham. The moment he was repulsed, his vanity turned for renewed
strength toward her. He saw instantly the immense power even the
slightest indiscretion on her part would give him over the Preacher’s
life. He knew that while he was not a demonstrative man, he loved his
wife with intense devotion. He knew, too, that here was the Preacher’s
weakest spot. In his tireless devotion to his work, he had starved his
wife’s heart. He had noticed that she always called him “Dr. Durham”
now, and that he had gradually fallen into the habit of calling her
“Mrs. Durham.”
This had been fixed in their habits, perhaps by the change from
housekeeping to living at the hotel. Since old Aunt Mary’s death, Mrs.
Durham had given up her struggle with the modern negro servants, closed
her house, and they had boarded for several years.
He saw that if he could entangle her name with his in the dirty gossip
of village society, he could strike his enemy a mortal blow. He knew
that she had grown more and more jealous of the crowds of silly women
that always dog the heels of a powerful minister with flattery and open
admiration. He determined to make the experiment.
Mrs. Durham, while nine years his senior, did not look a day over
thirty. Her face was as smooth and soft and round as a girl’s, her
figure as straight and full, and her every movement instinct with stored
vital powers that had never been drawn upon.
She was in a dangerous period of her mental development. She had been
bitterly disappointed in life. Her loss of slaves and the ancestral
prestige of great wealth had sent the steel shaft of a poisoned dagger
into her soul. She was unreconciled to it. While she was passing through
the anarchy of Legree’s régime which followed the war, her unsatisfied
maternal instincts absorbed her in the work of relieving the poor and
the broken. But when the white race rose in its might and shook off this
nightmare and order and a measure of prosperity had come, she had fallen
back into brooding pessimism.
She had reached the hour of that soul crisis when she felt life would
almost in a moment slip from her grasp, and she asked herself the
question, “Have I lived?” And she could not answer.
She found herself asking the reasons for things long accepted as fixed
and eternal. What was good, right, truth? And what made it good, right,
or true?
And she beat the wings of her proud woman’s heart against the bars that
held her, until tired, and bleeding she was exhausted but unconquered.
She was furious with McLeod for his open association with negro
politicians.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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