“Certainly,” said Thuillier, “the director of any theatre to whom we
should recommend--”
“No,” replied Phellion. “In the first place, as member of the
reading-committee of the Odeon, having to sit in judgment upon others,
it would not become me to descend into the arena myself. I am an old
athlete, whose business it is to judge of blows he can no longer give.
In this sense, criticism is altogether within my sphere, and all the
more because I have certain views on the proper method of composing
dramatic feuilletons which I think novel. The ‘castigat ridendo mores’
ought to be, according to my humble lights, the great law, I may say the
only law of the stage. I should therefore show myself pitiless for those
works, bred of imagination, in which morality has no part, and to which
mothers of families--”
“Excuse me,” said la Peyrade, “for interrupting you; but before allowing
you to take the trouble to develop your poetical ideas, I ought to tell
you that we have already made arrangements for our dramatic criticism.”
“Ah! that’s another thing,” said Phellion; “an honest man must keep his
word.”
“Yes,” said Thuillier, “we have our dramatic critic, little thinking
that you would offer us your valuable assistance.”
“Well,” said Phellion, suddenly becoming crafty,--for there is something
in the newspaper atmosphere, impossible to say what, which flies to
the head, the bourgeois head especially,--“since you are good enough to
consider my pen capable of doing you some service, perhaps a series of
detached thoughts on different subjects, to which I should venture to
give the name of ‘Diversities,’ might be of a nature to interest your
readers.”
“Yes,” said la Peyrade, with a maliciousness that was quite lost upon
Phellion, “thoughts, especially in the style of la Rochefoucauld or la
Bruyere, might do. What do you think yourself, Thuillier?”
He reserved to himself the right to leave the responsibility of
refusals, as far as he could, to the proprietor of the paper.
“But I imagine that thoughts, especially if detached, cannot be very
consecutive,” said Thuillier.
“Evidently not,” replied Phellion; “detached thoughts imply the idea of
a very great number of subjects on which the author lets his pen stray
without the pretension of presenting a whole.”
“You will of course sign them?” said la Peyrade.
“Oh, no!” replied Phellion, alarmed. “I could not put myself on
exhibition in that way.”
“Your modesty, which by the bye I understand and approve, settles the
matter,” said la Peyrade. “Thoughts are a subject altogether individual,
which imperatively require to be personified by a name. You must be
conscious of this yourself. ‘Divers Thoughts by Monsieur Three-Stars’
says nothing to the public.”
Seeing that Phellion was about to make objections, Thuillier, who was in
a hurry to begin his fight with la Peyrade, cut the matter short rather
sharply.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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