Yet, determined not to abandon his duty, over a year later he was still at his post. "_Ville de Paris,_" PORT MAHON, _December 18th, 1809._ The truth is that I am so unremittingly occupied, that my life is rather a drudgery than a service. I have an anxious mind from nature and cannot leave to any what is possible for me to do myself. Now my health is suffering very much, which is attributed to the sedentary life I lead, and it may well be to the vexation my mind suffers when anything goes counter. But when I _do_ come home, I hope I shall not be thought to flinch, for I have worn out all the officers and all the ships, two or three times over, since I left England. Within a fortnight he wrote again:-- _December 29th._ I have no desire to shrink from a duty which I owe to my country, but my declining health--the constant anxiety of my mind and fatigue of my body--made me desire to have a little respite, and I asked to be relieved from my command--a request which the Ministers seem to have no disposition to grant to me, but if his lordship knew me personally and was sufficiently acquainted with my sentiments he would know that my request was not made without good reason. The service here requires the most energetic mind and robust body--they cannot be hoped for in an invalid, whose infirmities proceed from too long and unremitted exertion of powers, but feeble at first. Meanwhile, in Grosvenor Square, every item of news respecting the intentions of Lord Collingwood was eagerly looked for, since on these were dependent the movements of little William Stanhope. In the autumn of 1809 Mrs Stanhope wrote:-- William writes word that his height is 5 ft. 4 in., very fair for a Stanhope of his age. What an affectionate creature he is, and how I should delight in seeing him. I do not like the account he gives of Lord Collingwood's health. If the French fleet would but come out and he beat them, I doubt not he would then return immediately. And on the 6th December she mentions an event which served to accentuate the sadness of that protracted absence:-- Lord Collingwood has actually a daughter grown up. She has made her appearance in Newcastle, very shy and distressed. _February 27th, 1810._