Here Mr. Purcell went off into an enormous guffaw of laughter, amused to
the last degree, and probably in doubt whether to think of his informant
as befooled or befooling. He went off laughing; and Rotha returned slowly
homeward. Half way towards the drive, she struck a walk which led
obliquely through the tangled shrubbery to the kitchen door.
Her room, when she reached it, looked cheerful and pleasant enough. The
open windows let in the air and the sunshine, and the top of the tulip
tree was glittering in the warm light. At the same time the slantness of
the rays shewed that the afternoon was on its way. Night was coming. And
a spasm of dread seized Rotha at the thought of being up there, quite
alone, away from anybody, and without guardianship or help in any
occasion of need or alarm. Rotha was of a nervous and excitable
temperament, a coward physically, unaccustomed to being alone or to
taking care of herself. She looked forward now to the darkness with
positive dread and dismay. O for her little corner room at Mrs.
Mowbray's, where she was secure, and in the midst of friends! O for even
her cheerless little room at her aunt's, where at least there were people
below her to guard the house! Here, quite alone through the long, still
nights, and nobody within even calling distance, how should she ever
stand it! For a little while Rotha's wits were half paralyzed with
terror. Reason then began slowly to assert herself, and the girl's
natural force of character arose to struggle with the incubus of fear.
She reminded herself that nothing was more unlikely than a night alarm;
that the house was known to be empty of all that might tempt thieves, and
that furthermore also it was in the highest degree unlikely that the
neighbourhood of Tanfield harboured such characters. Probably she was
safer from disturbance up here, than either at Mrs. Mowbray's or at Mrs.
Busby's. But of what use was the absence of disturbance, when there was
the presence of fear? Rotha reasoned in vain. She had a lively
imagination; and this excellent property now played her some of the arch
tricks of which it is capable. Possible disturbances occurred to her;
scenes of distress arose upon her vision, so sharp and clear that she
shrank from them. Probable? No, they were not; but who should say they
were not possible? Had not everything improbable happened in this world,
as well as the things which were reasonably to be expected? And if only
possible, if they were possible, where were comfort and security to be
found? Without some degree of both, Rotha felt as if she must quit the
place, set out and walk to the hotel at Tanfield; only she had no
money to pay her charges with if she were there.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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