The longed-for paper has come to hand. O it _is_ a slow struggle back to health, my Darling! I believe in the main it is good news that is come--and there is the little stroke I wanted so on the address. But for all that, I feel troubled & conscious--for I believe you have been a great deal worse since you wrote--and that you have still such a steep, steep hill to climb. Perhaps if my hand were in yours, dear Walt, you would get along faster. Dearer and sweeter that lot than even to have been your bride in the full flush & strength and glory of your youth. I turn my face to the westward sky before I lie down to sleep, deep & steadfast within me the silent aspiration that every year, every month & week, may help something to prepare and make fitter me and mine to be your comfort and joy. We are full of imperfections, short-comings but half developed, but half "possessing our own souls." But we grow, we learn, we strive--that is the best of us. I think in the sunshine of your presence we shall grow fast--I too, my years notwithstanding. May the New Year lead you out into the sunshine again--shed out of its days health & strength, so that you tread the earth in gladness again. This with love from us all. Good-bye, dearest Friend. ANNE GILCHRIST. Herby was at a Conversation last night where were many distinguished men & beautiful women. Among the works of art displayed on the walls was a fine photograph of you. 19th, afternoon. And now a later post has brought me the other No. of the _Graphic_ with your own writing in it--so full of life and spirit, so fresh & cheerful & vivid, dear Friend, it seems to scatter all anxious sad thoughts to the winds. And are you then really back at Washington, I wonder, or have you only visited it in spirit, & written the recollection of former evenings? I shall have none but cheerful thoughts now. I shall reread it carefully--read it to the young folk at tea to-night. LETTER XIX ANNE GILCHRIST TO WALT WHITMAN _50 Marquis Rd. Camden Sq. London 26 Feb., 1874._ MY DEAREST FRIEND: