cheerful rich & handsome, he has fallen into indifferent health &
considerable depression of spirits. Perhaps he finds the atmosphere of
Squirearchical gentility very stagnant, the bed of roses
stifling--perhaps, too, the severe privations he has at different times
undergone have injured him. I often think he was perhaps one of those
your eyes rested on with pride & admiration--"handsome, tan-faced, dressed
in blue." He is the very ideal of a soldier in appearance & bearing--has
now some fine children, of whom he is very fond.
It was just this time of year I received the precious letter and ring that
put peace and joy, and yet such pain of yearning, into my heart--pain for
you, my Darling. O sorrowing helpless love that waits, and must wait,
useless, afar off, while you suffer. But trying every day of my life to
grow fitter, more capable of being your comfort and joy and true
comrade--never to cease trying this side death or the other--rejoicing in
my children more than I ever rejoiced in them before, now that in and
through you I for the first time see and understand humanity (myself
included)--its divine nature, its possibilities, nay, its certainties. How
I do long for you to see my children, dear Friend, and for them to see and
love you as they will love you, and all their nature unfold and grow more
vigorously and joyously under your influence. Gracie, of whom you have
photographs, grows fast,--is such a fine, blooming girl. I hope soon to
send you one of Beatrice too. They have been enjoying their visit here and
are now gone home. Gracie for school, Beatrice for the examination at
Apoth. Hall she is hoping to get through. Then she is coming here to be
with my Mother, & I going back to London. We mean now one or other of us
always to be with my Mother here. Herby has had such a happy time with his
brother in Wales--& is looking as brown as a nut & full of health &
life--he had a swim in the sea every day. He did succeed in getting into
the Academy, & will begin work there Oct. 1st! Be sure, dear Friend, if
there is a word about your health in any paper to send it me--that is what
I search for so eagerly--to have the joyful news you are getting on--but
even if it is but so very very slowly, still I would rather know the
truth? I do not like thinking of you mistakenly. I want to send you the
thoughts, the yearnings, that belong to you, the cherishing love that
enfolds you most tenderly of all when you suffer. O if I could send it!
and the cheerful companionship, beguiling the time while strength creeps
back. I hope your little nieces at St. Louis are well.
Good-bye, my dearest Friend. Herby, the only one here with me, would like
to join his love with mine.
ANNIE GILCHRIST.
I go back the beginning of October.
_Sep. 14th._
LETTER XXIV
ANNE GILCHRIST TO WALT WHITMAN
_50 Marquis Rd.
Camden Sq. London
Dec. 9, 1874._
MY DEAREST FRIEND:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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