The Letters of Elizabeth Barrett Browning (Volume 2 of 2)Browning, Elizabeth Barrett
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The Letters of Elizabeth Barrett Browning (Volume 2 of 2)
Browning, Elizabeth Barrett
Browning, Elizabeth Barrett, 1806-1861 -- Correspondence; Poets, English -- 19th century -- Correspondence
My dear Mr. Ruskin,--I can't express our amount of mortification in
being thwarted in the fulfilment of the promise you allowed us to make
to ourselves, that we would go down to you once more before leaving
England. What with the crush rather than press of circumstances, I have
scarcely needed the weather to pin me to the wall. Sometimes my husband
could not go with me, sometimes I couldn't go with him, and always we
waited for one another in hope, till this last day overtook us.
To-morrow (D.V.) we shall be in Paris. Now, will you believe how we have
wished and longed to see you beyond these strait tantalising
limits?--how you look to us at this moment like the phantasm of a thing
dear and desired, just seen and vanishing? What! are you to be ranked
among my spiritualities after all? Forgive me that wrong.
Then you had things to say to me, I know, which in your consideration,
and through my cowardice, you did not say, but yet will!
Will you write to me, dear Mr. Ruskin, sometimes, or have I disgusted
you so wholly that you won't or can't?
Once, I know, somewhat because of shyness and somewhat because of
intense apprehension--somewhat, too, through characteristic stupidity
(no contradiction this!)--I said I was grateful to you when you had just
bade me not. Well, I really couldn't help it. That's all I can say now.
Even if your appreciation were perfectly deserved at all points, why,
appreciation means sympathy, and sympathy being the best gift nearly
which one human creature can give another, I don't understand (I never
could) why it does not deserve thanks. I am stupid perhaps, but for my
life I never could help being grateful to the people who loved me, even
if they happened to say, 'I can't help it! not I!'
As for Mr. Ruskin, he sees often in his own light. That's what I see and
feel.
Will you write to me sometimes? I come back to it. Will you, though I am
awkward and shy and obstinate now and then, and a wicked spiritualist to
wit--a _realist_ in an out-of-the-world sense--accepting matter as a
means (no matter for it otherwise!)?
Don't give me up, dear Mr. Ruskin! My husband's truest regards, and
farewell from both of us! I would fain be
Your affectionate friend,
ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING.
Our address in Paris will be, _102 Rue de Grenelle, Faubourg St.
Germain_.
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Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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