There is no time, my Clarinda, when the conscious thrilling chords of
Love and Friendship give such delight, as in the pensive hours of what
our favourite Thomson calls, "philosophic melancholy." The sportive
insects, who bask in the sunshine of prosperity; or the worms that
luxuriantly crawl amid their ample wealth of earth, they need no
Clarinda: they would despise Sylvander--if they durst. The family of
Misfortune, a numerous group of brothers and sisters! they need a
resting place to their souls: unnoticed, often condemned by the
world--in some degree, perhaps, condemned by themselves, they feel the
full enjoyment of ardent love, delicate tender endearments, mutual
esteem and mutual reliance.
In this light I have often admired religion. In proportion as we are
wrung with grief, or distracted with anxiety, the ideas of a
compassionate Deity, an Almighty Protector, are doubly dear.
'_Tis this_, my friend, that streaks our morning bright;
'_Tis this_ that gilds the horrors of our night.'
I have been this morning taking a peep through, as Young finely says,
"the dark postern of time long elaps'd;" and, you will easily
guess,'twas a rueful prospect. What a tissue of thoughtlessness,
weakness, and folly! My life reminded me of a ruined temple; what
strength, what proportion in some parts! what unsightly gaps, what
prostrate ruin in others! I kneeled down before the Father of mercies,
and said, "Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and
am no more worthy to be called thy son!" I rose, eased and strengthened.
I despise the superstition of a fanatic, but I love the religion of a
man. "The future," said I to myself, "is still before me;" there let me
on reason build resolve,
That column of true majesty in man!
"I have difficulties many to encounter," said I; "but they are not
absolutely insuperable; and where is firmness of mind shown but in
exertion? mere declamation is bombast rant." Besides, wherever I am, or
in whatever situation I may be--
'Tis nought to me:
Since God is ever present, ever felt,
In the void waste as in the city full;
And where He vital breathes, there must be joy!
_Saturday night--half after Ten_.
What luxury of bliss I was enjoying this time yesternight! My ever
dearest Clarinda, you have stolen away my soul; but you have refined,
you have exalted it; you have given it a stronger sense for virtue, and
a stronger relish for piety. Clarinda, first of your sex, if ever I am
the veriest wretch on earth to forget you, if ever your lovely image is
effaced from my soul,
May I be lost, no eye to weep my end;
And find no earth that's base enough to bury me!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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