Sir,--I have been surprised, confounded, and distracted, by Mr. Mitchel,
the collector, telling me that he has received an order from your Board
to inquire into my political conduct, and blaming me as a person
disaffected to government.
Sir, you are a husband--and a father. You know what you would feel, to
see the much-loved wife of your bosom, and your helpless, prattling
little ones, turned adrift into the world, degraded and disgraced from a
situation in which they had been respectable and respected, and left
almost without the necessary support of a miserable existence. Alas,
Sir! must I think that such, soon, will be my lot! and from the damn'd,
dark insinuations of hellish, groundless envy too! I believe, Sir, I may
aver it, and in the sight of Omniscience, that I would not tell a
deliberate falsehood, no, not though even worse horrors, if worse can
be, than those I have mentioned, hung over my head; and I say, that the
allegation, whatever villain has made it, is a lie! To the British
Constitution, on revolution principles, next after my God, I am most
devoutly attached. You, Sir, have been much and generously my friend:
Heaven knows how warmly I have felt the obligation, and how gratefully I
have thanked you. Fortune, Sir, has made you powerful, and me impotent;
has given you patronage, and me dependence. I would not for my single
self call on your humanity; were such my insular, unconnected situation,
I would despise the tear that now swells in my eye--I could brave
misfortune, I could face ruin; for at the worst, "Death's thousand doors
stand open;" but, good God! the tender concerns that I have mentioned,
the claims and ties that I see at this moment, and feel around me, how
they unnerve Courage, and wither Resolution! To your patronage, as a man
of some genius, you have allowed me a claim; and your esteem, as an
honest man, I know is my due: to these, Sir, permit me to appeal; by
these may I adjure you to save me from that misery which threatens to
overwhelm me, and which, with my latest breath I will say it, I have
not deserved.
R. B.
* * * * *
CLXXIX.--To MRS. DUNLOP.
DUMFRIES, _31st December 1792._
Dear Madam,--A hurry of business, thrown in heaps by my absence, has
until now prevented my returning my grateful acknowledgments to the good
family of Dunlop, and you in particular, for that hospitable kindness
which rendered the four days I spent under that genial roof, four of the
pleasantest I ever enjoyed. Alas, my dearest friend! how few and
fleeting are those things we call pleasures! on my road to Ayrshire I
spent a night with a friend whom I much valued; a man whose days
promised to be many; and on Saturday last we laid him in the dust!
_Jan. 2nd, 1793._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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