The Letters of William James, Vol. 2James, William
Philosophy
The Letters of William James, Vol. 2
James, William
Intellectuals -- United States; James, William, 1842-1910; Philosophers -- United States; Psychologists -- United States
Now, my dear little girl, you have come to an age when the inward life
develops and when some people (and on the whole those who have most of a
destiny) find that all is not a bed of roses. Among other things there
will be waves of terrible sadness, which last sometimes for days; and
dissatisfaction with one's self, and irritation at others, and anger at
circumstances and stony insensibility, etc., etc., which taken together
form a melancholy. Now, painful as it is, this is sent to us for an
enlightenment. It always passes off, and we learn about life from it,
and we ought to learn a great many good things if we react on it
rightly. [_From margin._] (For instance, you learn how good a thing your
home is, and your country, and your brothers, and you may learn to be
more considerate of other people, who, you now learn, may have their
inner weaknesses and sufferings, too.) Many persons take a kind of
sickly delight in hugging it; and some sentimental ones may even be
proud of it, as showing a fine sorrowful kind of sensibility. Such
persons make a regular habit of the luxury of woe. That is the worst
possible reaction on it. It is usually a sort of disease, when we get it
strong, arising from the organism having generated some poison in the
blood; and we mustn't submit to it an hour longer than we can help, but
jump at every chance to attend to anything cheerful or comic or take
part in anything active that will divert us from our mean, pining inward
state of feeling. When it passes off, as I said, we know more than we
did before. And we must try to make it last as short a time as possible.
The worst of it often is that, while we are in it, we don't _want_ to
get out of it. We hate it, and yet we prefer staying in it--that is a
part of the disease. If we find ourselves like that, we must make
ourselves do something different, go with people, speak cheerfully, set
ourselves to some hard work, make ourselves sweat, etc.; and that is the
good way of reacting that makes of us a valuable character. The disease
makes you think of _yourself_ all the time; and the way out of it is to
keep as busy as we can thinking of _things_ and of _other people_--no
matter what's the matter with our self.
I have no doubt you are doing as well as you know how, darling little
Peg; but we have to learn everything, and I also have no doubt that
you'll manage it better and better if you ever have any more of it, and
soon it will fade away, simply leaving you with more experience. The
great thing for you _now_, I should suppose, would be to enter as
friendlily as possible into the interest of the Clarke children. If you
like them, or acted as if you liked them, you needn't trouble about the
question of whether they like you or not. They probably will, fast
enough; and if they don't, it will be their funeral, not yours. But this
is a great lecture, so I will stop. The great thing about it is that it
is all true.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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