He was going to send the letter away. "Come, William," said I, "you
shan't send her an empty letter; tell her you have a friend coming with
you that must be as retired as yourself, and I'll send her five thousand
pounds more."
So, in short, we made this poor woman's family rich; and yet, when it
came to the point, my heart failed me, and I durst not venture; and for
William, he would not stir without me; and so we stayed about two years
after this, considering what we should do.
You may think, perhaps, that I was very prodigal of my ill-gotten goods,
thus to load a stranger with my bounty, and give a gift like a prince to
one that had been able to merit nothing of me, or indeed know me; but
my condition ought to be considered in this case; though I had money to
profusion, yet I was perfectly destitute of a friend in the world, to
have the least obligation or assistance from, or knew not either where
to dispose or trust anything I had while I lived, or whom to give it to
if I died.
When I had reflected upon the manner of my getting of it, I was
sometimes for giving it all to charitable uses, as a debt due to
mankind, though I was no Roman Catholic, and not at all of the opinion
that it would purchase me any repose to my soul; but I thought, as it
was got by a general plunder, and which I could make no satisfaction
for, it was due to the community, and I ought to distribute it for the
general good. But still I was at a loss how, and where, and by whom to
settle this charity, not daring to go home to my own country, lest some
of my comrades, strolled home, should see and detect me, and for the
very spoil of my money, or the purchase of his own pardon, betray and
expose me to an untimely end.
Being thus destitute, I say, of a friend, I pitched thus upon William's
sister; the kind step of hers to her brother, whom she thought to be in
distress, signifying a generous mind and a charitable disposition; and
having resolved to make her the object of my first bounty, I did not
doubt but I should purchase something of a refuge for myself, and a kind
of a centre, to which I should tend in my future actions; for really
a man that has a subsistence, and no residence, no place that has a
magnetic influence upon his affections, is in one of the most odd,
uneasy conditions in the world, nor is it in the power of all his money
to make it up to him.
It was, as I told you, two years and upwards that we remained at Venice
and thereabout, in the greatest hesitation imaginable, irresolute and
unfixed to the last degree. William's sister importuned us daily to come
to England, and wondered we should not dare to trust her, whom we had to
such a degree obliged to be faithful; and in a manner lamented her being
suspected by us.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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