On hearing this read, the major's head seemed to fill with various suspicions, for his hands again went into his inevitable pockets, and he gave his shoulders a shrug expressive of his thoughts. But his suspicions never stuck to him long, and he soon found comfort in the fact that there was the commodore's full name attached to it. He then set to teasing his beard, and giving himself to his thoughts. "Pray, young man," said he, "say nothing of my trade in tin, for I see these are men of quality, and, having heard of me only through the newspapers, know but little of my true history. But, let my enemies say what they will, I am not a man to stand at trifles. Honors never puzzle me: it's the thickness of them. I say, though, that when fame puts a man on the pedestal he must never think of falling to the ground, for that would be a fear unworthy my profession." He now read and reread the commodore's letter, and at length said, that though he had written speeches for and given grammar lessons to New York members of Congress, the composing a suitable reply on such an occasion as this alarmed him not a little. In truth, such little things belonged entirely to polite society, and required a grace and diction rarely attained by politicians. Indeed, he regretted much that he was not where he could obtain the services of one of those New York critics, who, being the sons and grandsons of poor bishops, write learned book notices by the yard, and get up addresses for distinguished actresses, who deliver them on occasions of receiving bracelets and necklaces from their admiring friends. "Remember, young man," he resumed, "that the path of honor is open to you as well as me. I say this, because it has just struck me, that we can best fulfill our obligations to one another, by your writing the speeches and me delivering them. Heaven forbid that I should want to wrong you; but we must take up the fruit as it falls. Now surely you will write me a neat reply to this fellow-say much about what I have sacrificed, making it, at the same time, so easy that they shall not have a suspicion of the authorship. And above all, endeavor to make me speak like a sensible gentleman." Having taken great pains to aid the major in all his exploits, I was more than anxious that he should deport himself properly on this occasion, and hence readily consented to accept the task of preparing his reply, selecting for the service all the choice words I could find in an old speech of Thomas Benton's, delivered by him many years ago, in reply to an address in compliment of his thirty years' services in the United States Senate, and presented by a committee of the Young Men's Missionary Society for distributing bibles to indigent authors. It must here be said of these young gentlemen, that they had no masked motive in thus complimenting the venerable senator, which they did simply from hearing that his compassions had taken a new turn.