The Life and Death of Richard Yea-and-NayHewlett, Maurice
General
The Life and Death of Richard Yea-and-Nay
Hewlett, Maurice
Richard I, King of England, 1157-1199 -- Fiction
'Oh, leave him, leave him, Eustace,' said Des Barres, 'and come with me.
We shall meet him in the fair way yet, you and I together.' So the
Frenchmen rode away, and Gilles, with his father and his parchments and
his square forehead, went to Evreux, where King Henry then was.
Kneeling before their Duke, expounding their gravamens as if they were
suing out a writ of _Mort d'Ancestor_, they very soon found out that he
was no more a Norman than Saint-Pol. The old King made short work of
their '_ut predictum ests_' and '_Quaesumus igiturs_.'
'Good sirs,' says he, knitting his brows, 'where is this lord who has
done you so much injury?'
'My lord,' they report, 'he has her in his strong tower on the plain of
Saint-André, some ten leagues from here.'
Then cries the old King, 'Smoke him out, you fools! What! a badger. Draw
the thief.'
Then Gilles the elder flattened his lips together and afterwards pursed
them. 'Lord,' he said, 'that we dare not do without your express
commandment.'
'Why, why,' snaps the King, 'if I give it you, my solemn fools?'
Young Gilles stood up, a weighty youth. 'Lord Duke,' he said, 'this lord
is the Count of Poictou, your son.' It had been a fine sight for sinful
men to see the eyes of the old King strike fire at this word. His
speech, they tell me, was terrible, glutted with rage.
'Ha, God!' he spluttered, cracking his fingers, 'so my Richard is the
badger, ha? So then I have him, ha? If I do not draw him myself, by the
Face!'
It is said that Longespée (a son of his by Madame Rosamund) and Geoffrey
(another bastard), with Bohun and De Lacy and some more, tried to hinder
him in this design, wherein (said they) he set out to be a second
Thyestes; but they might as well have bandied words with destiny. 'War
is war,' said the foaming old man, 'whether with a son or a grandmother
you make it. Shall my enemy range the field and I sit at home and lap
caudle? That is not the way of my house.' He would by all means go that
night, and called for volunteers. His English barons, to their credit,
flatly refused either to entrap the son of their master or to abandon
the city at a time so critical. 'What, sire!' cried they, 'are private
resentments, like threadworms, to fret the dams of the state? The floods
are out, my lord King, and brimming at the sluices. Be advised
therefore.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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