FROM the first moment I sat down to write my life for the amusement of
the world, and my opinions for its instruction, has a cloud insensibly
been gathering over my father.——A tide of little evils and distresses
has been setting in against him.—Not one thing, as he observed himself,
has gone right: and now is the storm thicken’d and going to break, and
pour down full upon his head.
I enter upon this part of my story in the most pensive and melancholy
frame of mind that ever sympathetic breast was touched with.——My nerves
relax as I tell it.——Every line I write, I feel an abatement of the
quickness of my pulse, and of that careless alacrity with it, which
every day of my life prompts me to say and write a thousand things I
should not——And this moment that I last dipp’d my pen into my ink, I
could not help taking notice what a cautious air of sad composure and
solemnity there appear’d in my manner of doing it.——Lord! how different
from the rash jerks and hair-brain’d squirts thou art wont, _Tristram_,
to transact it with in other humours—dropping thy pen——spurting thy ink
about thy table and thy books—as if thy pen and thy ink, thy books and
furniture cost thee nothing!
C H A P. XXII
——I WON’T go about to argue the point with you—’tis so——and I am
persuaded of it, madam, as much as can be, “That both man and woman
bear pain or sorrow (and, for aught I know, pleasure too) best in a
horizontal position.”
The moment my father got up into his chamber, he threw himself
prostrate across his bed in the wildest disorder imaginable, but at the
same time in the most lamentable attitude of a man borne down with
sorrows, that ever the eye of pity dropp’d a tear for.——The palm of his
right hand, as he fell upon the bed, receiving his forehead, and
covering the greatest part of both his eyes, gently sunk down with his
head (his elbow giving way backwards) till his nose touch’d the
quilt;——his left arm hung insensible over the side of the bed, his
knuckles reclining upon the handle of the chamber-pot, which peep’d out
beyond the valance—his right leg (his left being drawn up towards his
body) hung half over the side of the bed, the edge of it pressing upon
his shin bone—He felt it not. A fix’d, inflexible sorrow took
possession of every line of his face.—He sigh’d once——heaved his breast
often—but uttered not a word.
An old set-stitch’d chair, valanced and fringed around with party
coloured worsted bobs, stood at the bed’s head, opposite to the side
where my father’s head reclined.—My uncle _Toby_ sat him down in it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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