Now ride at this rate with what good intention and resolution you may——’tis a million to one you’ll do some one a mischief, if not yourself——He’s flung—he’s off—he’s lost his hat—he’s down——he’ll break his neck——see!——if he has not galloped full among the scaffolding of the undertaking criticks!——he’ll knock his brains out against some of their posts—he’s bounced out!—look—he’s now riding like a mad-cap full tilt through a whole crowd of painters, fiddlers, poets, biographers, physicians, lawyers, logicians, players, school-men, churchmen, statesmen, soldiers, casuists, connoisseurs, prelates, popes, and engineers.—Don’t fear, said I—I’ll not hurt the poorest jack-ass upon the king’s highway.—But your horse throws dirt; see you’ve splash’d a bishop——I hope in God, ’twas only _Ernulphus_, said I.——But you have squirted full in the faces of Mess. _Le Moyne, De Romigny_, and _De Marcilly_, doctors of the _Sorbonne._——That was last year, replied I.—But you have trod this moment upon a king.——Kings have bad times on’t, said I, to be trod upon by such people as me. You have done it, replied my accuser. I deny it, quoth I, and so have got off, and here am I standing with my bridle in one hand, and with my cap in the other, to tell my story.——And what in it? You shall hear in the next chapter. [15] According to the preceding Editions. C H A P. LVI AS _Francis_ the first of _France_ was one winterly night warming himself over the embers of a wood fire, and talking with his first minister of sundry things for the good of the state[16]—It would not be amiss, said the king, stirring up the embers with his cane, if this good understanding betwixt ourselves and _Switzerland_ was a little strengthened.—There is no end, Sire, replied the minister, in giving money to these people—they would swallow up the treasury of _France._—Poo! poo! answered the king—there are more ways, Mons. _le Premier_, of bribing states, besides that of giving money—I’ll pay _Switzerland_ the honour of standing godfather for my next child.——Your majesty, said the minister, in so doing, would have all the grammarians in _Europe_ upon your back;——_Switzerland_, as a republic, being a female, can in no construction be godfather.—She may be godmother, replied _Francis_ hastily—so announce my intentions by a courier to-morrow morning. I am astonished, said _Francis_ the First, (that day fortnight) speaking to his minister as he entered the closet, that we have had no answer from _Switzerland._——Sire, I wait upon you this moment, said Mons. _le Premier_, to lay before you my dispatches upon that business.—They take it kindly, said the king.—They do, Sire, replied the minister, and have the highest sense of the honour your majesty has done them——but the republick, as godmother, claims her right, in this case, of naming the child.