“There is not such great odds, brother _Toby_, betwixt good and evil,
as the world imagines”——(this way of setting off, by the bye, was not
likely to cure my uncle _Toby_’s suspicions).——“Labour, sorrow, grief,
sickness, want, and woe, are the sauces of life.”—Much good may do
them—said my uncle _Toby_ to himself.——
“My son is dead!—so much the better;—’tis a shame in such a tempest to
have but one anchor.
“But he is gone for ever from us!—be it so. He is got from under the
hands of his barber before he was bald—he is but risen from a feast
before he was surfeited—from a banquet before he had got drunken.
“The _Thracians_ wept when a child was born,”—(and we were very near
it, quoth my uncle _Toby_,)—“and feasted and made merry when a man went
out of the world; and with reason.——Death opens the gate of fame, and
shuts the gate of envy after it,—it unlooses the chain of the captive,
and puts the bondsman’s task into another man’s hands.
“Shew me the man, who knows what life is, who dreads it, and I’ll shew
thee a prisoner who dreads his liberty.”
Is it not better, my dear brother _Toby_, (for mark—our appetites are
but diseases,)—is it not better not to hunger at all, than to eat?—not
to thirst, than to take physic to cure it?
Is it not better to be freed from cares and agues, from love and
melancholy, and the other hot and cold fits of life, than, like a
galled traveller, who comes weary to his inn, to be bound to begin his
journey afresh?
There is no terrour, brother _Toby_, in its looks, but what it borrows
from groans and convulsions—and the blowing of noses and the wiping
away of tears with the bottoms of curtains, in a dying man’s
room.—Strip it of these, what is it?—’Tis better in battle than in bed,
said my uncle _Toby._—Take away its hearses, its mutes, and its
mourning,—its plumes, scutcheons, and other mechanic aids—What is
it?—_Better in battle!_ continued my father, smiling, for he had
absolutely forgot my brother _Bobby_—’tis terrible no way—for consider,
brother _Toby_,—when we _are_—death is _not;_—and when death _is_—we
are _not._ My uncle _Toby_ laid down his pipe to consider the
proposition; my father’s eloquence was too rapid to stay for any
man—away it went,—and hurried my uncle _Toby_’s ideas along with it.——
For this reason, continued my father, ’tis worthy to recollect, how
little alteration, in great men, the approaches of death have
made.—_Vespasian_ died in a jest upon his close-stool—_Galba_ with a
sentence—_Septimus Severus_ in a dispatch—_Tiberius_ in dissimulation,
and _Cæsar Augustus_ in a compliment.—I hope ’twas a sincere one—quoth
my uncle _Toby._
—’Twas to his wife,—said my father.
C H A P. IV
——And lastly—for all the choice anecdotes which history can produce of
this matter, continued my father,—this, like the gilded dome which
covers in the fabric—crowns all.—
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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