All this was as much _Arabick_ to my father, as the rites of the
_Colchi_ and _Troglodites_ had been before to my uncle _Toby;_ my
father could not determine whether he was to frown or to smile.
My uncle _Toby_, turning to _Yorick_, resumed the case at _Limerick_,
more intelligibly than he had begun it,—and so settled the point for my
father at once.
C H A P. XXXVIII
IT was undoubtedly, said my uncle _Toby_, a great happiness for myself
and the corporal, that we had all along a burning fever, attended with
a most raging thirst, during the whole five-and-twenty days the flux
was upon us in the camp; otherwise what my brother calls the radical
moisture, must, as I conceive it, inevitably have got the better.——My
father drew in his lungs top-full of air, and looking up, blew it forth
again, as slowly as he possibly could.——
——It was Heaven’s mercy to us, continued my uncle _Toby_, which put it
into the corporal’s head to maintain that due contention betwixt the
radical heat and the radical moisture, by reinforceing the fever, as he
did all along, with hot wine and spices; whereby the corporal kept up
(as it were) a continual firing, so that the radical heat stood its
ground from the beginning to the end, and was a fair match for the
moisture, terrible as it was.——Upon my honour, added my uncle _Toby_,
you might have heard the contention within our bodies, brother
_Shandy_, twenty toises.—If there was no firing, said _Yorick._
Well—said my father, with a full aspiration, and pausing a while after
the word——Was I a judge, and the laws of the country which made me one
permitted it, I would condemn some of the worst malefactors, provided
they had had their clergy—————————————_Yorick_, foreseeing the sentence
was likely to end with no sort of mercy, laid his hand upon my father’s
breast, and begged he would respite it for a few minutes, till he asked
the corporal a question.——Prithee, _Trim_, said _Yorick_, without
staying for my father’s leave,—tell us honestly—what is thy opinion
concerning this self-same radical heat and radical moisture?
With humble submission to his honour’s better judgment, quoth the
corporal, making a bow to my uncle _Toby_—Speak thy opinion freely,
corporal, said my uncle _Toby._—The poor fellow is my servant,—not my
slave,—added my uncle _Toby_, turning to my father.——
The corporal put his hat under his left arm, and with his stick hanging
upon the wrist of it, by a black thong split into a tassel about the
knot, he marched up to the ground where he had performed his catechism;
then touching his under-jaw with the thumb and fingers of his right
hand before he opened his mouth,——he delivered his notion thus.
C H A P. XXXIX
JUST as the corporal was humming, to begin—in waddled Dr. _Slop._—’Tis
not two-pence matter—the corporal shall go on in the next chapter, let
who will come in.——
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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