——Though if he gets a gig or top——Poor souls! it is a crown and a sceptre to them,—they should have where to secure it.—— Order it as you please, Mr. _Shandy_, replied my mother.—— ——But don’t you think it right? added my father, pressing the point home to her. Perfectly, said my mother, if it pleases you, Mr. _Shandy._—— ——There’s for you! cried my father, losing his temper——Pleases me!——You never will distinguish, Mrs. _Shandy_, nor shall I ever teach you to do it, betwixt a point of pleasure and a point of convenience.——This was on the _Sunday_ night:——and further this chapter sayeth not. C H A P. LXII AFTER my father had debated the affair of the breeches with my mother,—he consulted _Albertus Rubenius_ upon it; and _Albertus Rubenius_ used my father ten times worse in the consultation (if possible) than even my father had used my mother: For as _Rubenius_ had wrote a quarto _express, De re Vestiaria Veterum_,—it was _Rubenius_’s business to have given my father some lights.—On the contrary, my father might as well have thought of extracting the seven cardinal virtues out of a long beard,—as of extracting a single word out of _Rubenius_ upon the subject. Upon every other article of ancient dress, _Rubenius_ was very communicative to my father;—gave him a full satisfactory account of The Toga, or loose gown. The Chlamys. The Ephod. The Tunica, or Jacket. The Synthesis. The Pænula. The Lacema, with its Cucullus. The Paludamentum. The Prætexta. The Sagum, or soldier’s jerkin. The Trabea: of which, according to _Suetonius_, there was three kinds.— ——But what are all these to the breeches? said my father. _Rubenius_ threw him down upon the counter all kinds of shoes which had been in fashion with the _Romans._—— There was, The open shoe. The close shoe. The slip shoe. The wooden shoe. The soc. The buskin. And The military shoe with hobnails in it, which _Juvenal_ takes notice of. There were, The clogs. The pattins. The pantoufles. The brogues. The sandals, with latchets to them. There was, The felt shoe. The linen shoe. The laced shoe. The braided shoe. The calceus incisus. And The calceus rostratus. _Rubenius_ shewed my father how well they all fitted,—in what manner they laced on,—with what points, straps, thongs, latchets, ribbands, jaggs, and ends.—— ——But I want to be informed about the breeches, said my father. _Albertus Rubenius_ informed my father that the _Romans_ manufactured stuffs of various fabrics,——some plain,—some striped,—others diapered throughout the whole contexture of the wool, with silk and gold——That linen did not begin to be in common use till towards the declension of the empire, when the _Egyptians_ coming to settle amongst them, brought it into vogue.