But when my father read on, and was let into the secret, that when a
child was turned topsy-turvy, which was easy for an operator to do, and
was extracted by the feet;—that instead of the cerebrum being propelled
towards the cerebellum, the cerebellum, on the contrary, was propelled
simply towards the cerebrum, where it could do no manner of hurt:——By
heavens! cried he, the world is in conspiracy to drive out what little
wit God has given us,——and the professors of the obstetric art are
listed into the same conspiracy.—What is it to me which end of my son
comes foremost into the world, provided all goes right after, and his
cerebellum escapes uncrushed?
It is the nature of an hypothesis, when once a man has conceived it,
that it assimilates every thing to itself, as proper nourishment; and,
from the first moment of your begetting it, it generally grows the
stronger by every thing you see, hear, read, or understand. This is of
great use.
When my father was gone with this about a month, there was scarce a
phænomenon of stupidity or of genius, which he could not readily solve
by it;—it accounted for the eldest son being the greatest blockhead in
the family.——Poor devil, he would say,—he made way for the capacity of
his younger brothers.——It unriddled the observations of drivellers and
monstrous heads,——shewing _à priori_, it could not be
otherwise,——unless **** I don’t know what. It wonderfully explained and
accounted for the acumen of the _Asiatic_ genius, and that sprightlier
turn, and a more penetrating intuition of minds, in warmer climates;
not from the loose and common-place solution of a clearer sky, and a
more perpetual sunshine, &c.—which for aught he knew, might as well
rarefy and dilute the faculties of the soul into nothing, by one
extreme,—as they are condensed in colder climates by the other;——but he
traced the affair up to its spring-head;—shewed that, in warmer
climates, nature had laid a lighter tax upon the fairest parts of the
creation;—their pleasures more;—the necessity of their pains less,
insomuch that the pressure and resistance upon the vertex was so
slight, that the whole organization of the cerebellum was
preserved;——nay, he did not believe, in natural births, that so much as
a single thread of the network was broke or displaced,——so that the
soul might just act as she liked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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