[All this is impossible with us, quoth Dr. _Slop_, turning to my father, --the case could not happen in our church. --It happens in ours, however, replied my father, but too often. ----I own, quoth Dr. _Slop_, (struck a little with my father’s frank acknowledgment)--that a man in the _Romish_ church may live as badly; --but then he cannot easily die so. ----’Tis little matter, replied my father, with an air of indifference, --how a rascal dies. --I mean, answered Dr. _Slop_, he would be denied the benefits of the last sacraments. --Pray how many have you in all, said my uncle _Toby_, ----for I always forget? ----Seven, answered Dr. _Slop_. ----Humph! --said my uncle _Toby_; tho’ not accented as a note of acquiescence, --but as an interjection of that particular species of surprize, when a man in looking into a drawer, finds more of a thing than he expected. ----Humph! replied my uncle _Toby_. Dr. _Slop_, who had an ear, understood my uncle _Toby_ as well as if he had wrote a whole volume against the seven sacraments. ----Humph! replied Dr. _Slop_ (stating my uncle _Toby’s_ argument over again to him) ----Why, Sir, are there not seven cardinal virtues? ----Seven mortal sins? ----Seven golden candlesticks? ----Seven heavens? --’Tis more than I know, replied my uncle _Toby_. ------Are there not seven wonders of the world? ----Seven days of the creation? ----Seven planets? ----Seven plagues? ----That there are, quoth my father with a most affected gravity. But prithee, continued he, go on with the rest of thy characters, _Trim_.] “Another is sordid, unmerciful,” (here _Trim_ waved his right hand) “a strait-hearted, selfish wretch, incapable either of private friendship or public spirit. Take notice how he passes by the widow and orphan in their distress, and sees all the miseries incident to human life without a sigh or a prayer.” [An’ please your honours, cried _Trim_, I think this a viler man than the other.] “Shall not conscience rise up and sting him on such occasions? ----No; thank God there is no occasion, _I pay every man his own; --I have no fornication to answer to my conscience; --no faithless vows or promises to make up; --I have debauched no man’s wife or child; thank God, I am not as other men, adulterers, unjust, or even as this libertine, who stands before me._ “A third is crafty and designing in his nature. View his whole life; --’tis nothing but a cunning contexture of dark arts and unequitable subterfuges, basely to defeat the true intent of all laws, ----plain-dealing and the safe enjoyment of our several properties. ----You will see such a one working out a frame of little designs upon the ignorance and perplexities of the poor and needy man; --shall raise a fortune upon the inexperience of a youth, or the unsuspecting temper of his friend, who would have trusted him with his life.