My uncle _Toby_ would never offer to answer this by any other kind of argument, than that of whistling half a dozen bars of _Lillabullero_. ----You must know it was the usual channel thro’ which his passions got vent, when any thing shocked or surprized him: ----but especially when any thing, which he deem’d very absurd, was offered. As not one of our logical writers, nor any of the commentators upon them, that I remember, have thought proper to give a name to this particular species of argument, --I here take the liberty to do it myself, for two reasons. First, That, in order to prevent all confusion in disputes, it may stand as much distinguished for ever, from every other species of argument------as the _Argumentum ad Verecundiam_, _ex Absurdo, ex Fortiori_, or any other argument whatsoever: ----And, secondly, That it may be said by my children’s children, when my head is laid to rest, ----that their learn’d grandfather’s head had been busied to as much purpose once, as other people’s; --That he had invented a name, --and generously thrown it into the TREASURY of the _Ars Logica_, for one of the most unanswerable arguments in the whole science. And, if the end of disputation is more to silence than convince, --they may add, if they please, to one of the best arguments too. I do therefore, by these presents, strictly order and command, That it be known and distinguished by the name and title of the _Argumentum Fistulatorium_, and no other; --and that it rank hereafter with the _Argumentum Baculinum_ and the _Argumentum ad Crumenam_, and for ever hereafter be treated of in the same chapter. As for the _Argumentum Tripodium_, which is never used but by the woman against the man; --and the _Argumentum ad Rem_, which, contrarywise, is made use of by the man only against the woman; --As these two are enough in conscience for one lecture; ----and, moreover, as the one is the best answer to the other, --let them likewise be kept apart, and be treated of in a place by themselves. CHAPTER XXII The learned Bishop _Hall_, I mean the famous Dr. _Joseph Hall_, who was Bishop of _Exeter_ in King _James_ the First’s reign, tells us in one of his _Decads_, at the end of his divine art of meditation, imprinted at _London_, in the year 1610, by _John Beal_, dwelling in _Aldersgate-street_, “That it is an abominable thing for a man to commend himself;” ----and I really think it is so. And yet, on the other hand, when a thing is executed in a masterly kind of a fashion, which thing is not likely to be found out; --I think it is full as abominable, that a man should lose the honour of it, and go out of the world with the conceit of it rotting in his head. This is precisely my situation.