----This is vile work. --For which reason, from the beginning of this,
you see, I have constructed the main work and the adventitious parts of
it with such intersections, and have so complicated and involved the
digressive and progressive movements, one wheel within another, that the
whole machine, in general, has been kept a-going; --and, what’s more, it
shall be kept a-going these forty years, if it pleases the fountain of
health to bless me so long with life and good spirits.
CHAPTER XXIII
I have a strong propensity in me to begin this chapter very
nonsensically, and I will not baulk my fancy. --Accordingly I set off
thus:
If the fixture of _Momus’s_ glass in the human breast, according to the
proposed emendation of that arch-critick, had taken place, ----first,
This foolish consequence would certainly have followed, --That the very
wisest and very gravest of us all, in one coin or other, must have paid
window-money every day of our lives.
And, secondly, That had the said glass been there set up, nothing more
would have been wanting, in order to have taken a man’s character, but
to have taken a chair and gone softly, as you would to a dioptrical
beehive, and look’d in, --view’d the soul stark naked; --observed all
her motions, --her machinations; --traced all her maggots from their
first engendering to their crawling forth; --watched her loose in her
frisks, her gambols, her capricios; and after some notice of her more
solemn deportment, consequent upon such frisks, etc. ----then taken your
pen and ink and set down nothing but what you had seen, and could have
sworn to: --But this is an advantage not to be had by the biographer in
this planet; --in the planet _Mercury_ (belike) it may be so, if not
better still for him; ----for there the intense heat of the country,
which is proved by computators, from its vicinity to the sun, to be more
than equal to that of red-hot iron, --must, I think, long ago have
vitrified the bodies of the inhabitants, (as the efficient cause) to
suit them for the climate (which is the final cause); so that betwixt
them both, all the tenements of their souls, from top to bottom, may be
nothing else, for aught the soundest philosophy can shew to the
contrary, but one fine transparent body of clear glass (bating the
umbilical knot)--so that, till the inhabitants grow old and tolerably
wrinkled, whereby the rays of light, in passing through them, become so
monstrously refracted, ----or return reflected from their surfaces in
such transverse lines to the eye, that a man cannot be seen through;
--his soul might as well, unless for mere ceremony, or the trifling
advantage which the umbilical point gave her, --might, upon all other
accounts, I say, as well play the fool out o’doors as in her own house.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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