The Life and Romances of Mrs. Eliza HaywoodWhicher, George Frisbie
General
The Life and Romances of Mrs. Eliza Haywood
Whicher, George Frisbie
Haywood, Eliza Fowler, 1693?-1756
So the author discusses a wife's behavior toward a husband when laboring
under disappointment or vexatious accidents; sleeping in different beds;
how a woman should act when finding that her husband harbors unjust
suspicions of her virtue; the great indiscretion of taking too much
notice of the unmeaning or transient gallantries of a husband; the
methods which a wife is justified to take after supporting for a long
time a complication of all manner of ill-usage from a husband; and other
causes or effects of marital infelicity. Though marriage almost
inevitably terminates in a "brulée," the wife should spare no efforts to
ameliorate her husband's faults.
"If addicted to drinking, she must take care to have his cellar well
stor'd with the best and richest wines, and never seem averse to any
company he shall think fit to entertain:--If fond of women, she must
endeavour to convince him that the virtuous part of the sex are
capable of being as agreeable companions as those of the most loose
principles;--and this, not by arguments, for those he will not listen
to;--but by getting often to her house, the most witty, gay, and
spirituous of her acquaintance, who will sing, dance, tell pleasant
stories, and take all the freedoms that innocence allows" (p. 163).
Occasionally the advice to married women is very practical, as the
following deterrent from gluttony shows:
"I dined one day with a lady, who the whole time she employ'd her
knife and fork with incredible swiftness in dispatching a load of
turkey and chine she had heap'd upon her plate, still kept a keen
regard on what she had left behind, greedily devouring with her eyes
all that remain'd in the dish, and throwing a look of envy on every
one who put in for the smallest share.--My advice to such a one is,
that she would have a great looking-glass fix'd opposite the seat she
takes at table; and I am much mistaken, if the sight of herself in
those grim attitudes I have mention'd, will not very much contribute
to bring her to more moderation" (p. 276).
The method of "The Husband, in Answer to the Wife" (1756) is similar to
that of its companion-piece; in fact, much of the same advice is merely
modified or amplified to suit the other sex. The husband is warned to
avoid drinking to excess and some other particulars which may happen to
be displeasing to his spouse, such as using too much freedom in his
wife's presence with any of her female acquaintance. He is instructed in
the manner in which it will be most proper for a married man to carry
himself towards the maidservants of his family, and also the manner of
behavior best becoming a husband on a full detection of his wife's
infidelity. As in "The Wife" the path of marriage leads but to divorce.
One is forcibly reminded of Hogarth's "Marriage à la Mode."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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