The Life and Romances of Mrs. Eliza HaywoodWhicher, George Frisbie
General
The Life and Romances of Mrs. Eliza Haywood
Whicher, George Frisbie
Haywood, Eliza Fowler, 1693?-1756
"Behold another ... in every thing as ridiculous, in some more vile--
that big-bone'd, buxom, brown Woman.... Of all the Gods there is none
she acknowledges but Phoebus, him she frequently implores for
assistance, to charm her Lovers with the Spirit of Poetry.... She
pretends, however, to have an intimate acquaintance with the Muses--
has judgment enough to know that _ease_ and _please_ make a Rhyme, and
to count ten Syllables on her Fingers.--This is the Stock with which
she sets up for a Wit, and among some ignorant Wretches passes for
such; but with People of true Understanding, nothing affords more
subject of ridicule, than that incoherent Stuff which she calls
Verses.--She bribed, with all the Favours she is capable of
conferring, a Bookseller [Curll] (famous for publishing soft things)
to print some of her Works, ["The Amours of Clio and Strephon," 1719]
on which she is not a little vain: tho' she might very well have
spared herself the trouble. Few Men, of any rank whatsoever, but have
been honour'd with the receipt of some of her Letters both in Prose
and Measure--few Coffee-Houses but have been the Repository of
them."[15]
The student of contemporary secret history does not need to refer to the
"key" to discover that the woman whose power to charm Savage was so
destructive to Eliza's peace of mind was that universal mistress of
minor poets, the Mira of Thomson, the Clio of Dyer and Hill, the famous
Martha Fowke, who at the time happened to have fixed the scandal of her
affections upon the Volunteer Laureate.[16] That the poet's opinion of
her remained unchanged by Mrs. Haywood's vituperation may be inferred
from some lines in her praise in a satire called "The Authors of the
Town," printed soon after the publication of "Memoirs of a Certain
Island."[17]
"Clio, descending Angels sweep thy Lyre,
Prompt thy soft Lays, and breathe Seraphic Fire.
Tears fall, Sighs rise, obedient to thy Strains,
And the Blood dances in the mazy Veins!....
In social Spirits, lead thy Hours along,
Thou Life of Loveliness, thou Soul of Song!"
But not content with singing the praises of her rival, Savage cast a
slur upon Mrs. Haywood's works and even upon the unfortunate dame
herself.
"First, let me view what noxious Nonsense reigns,
While yet I loiter on Prosaic Plains;
If Pens impartial active Annals trace,
Others, with secret Histr'y, Truth deface:
Views and Reviews, and wild Memoirs appear,
And Slander darkens each recorded year."
After relating at some length the typical absurdities of the _chronique
scandaleuse_--deaths by poison, the inevitably dropped letter, and
intrigues of passion and jealousy--he became more specific in describing
various authors. Among others
"A cast-off Dame, who of Intrigues can judge,
Writes Scandal in Romance--A Printer's Drudge!
Flush'd with Success, for Stage-Renown she pants,
And melts, and swells, and pens luxurious Rants."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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