The Life & Letters of Peter Ilich TchaikovskyChaikovskii, Modest
General
The Life & Letters of Peter Ilich Tchaikovsky
Chaikovskii, Modest
Composers -- Russia -- Biography; Tchaikovsky, Peter Ilich, 1840-1893
disenchantment and depression. The risk of such a catastrophe might
perhaps be avoided, if she would consent to leave the stage and
live entirely in Russia. But she declares that in spite of all her
love for me, she cannot make up her mind to give up the profession
which brings her in so much money, and to which she has grown
accustomed. At present she is on her way to Moscow. Meanwhile we
have agreed that I am to visit her in summer at her country house
(near Paris), when our fate will be decided.
“If she will not consent to give up the stage, I, on my part,
hesitate to sacrifice my future; for it is clear that I shall lose
all opportunity of making my own way, if I blindly follow in her
train. You see, Dad, my situation is a very difficult one. On the
one hand, I love her heart and soul, and feel I cannot live any
longer without her; on the other hand, calm reason bids me to
consider more closely all the misfortunes with which my friends
threaten me. I shall wait, my dear, for your views on the subject.
“I am quite well, and my life goes on as usual--only I am unhappy
now she is not here.”
Tchaikovsky received the following letter in reply:--
“_December_ 29_th_, 1868 (_January_ 10_th_, 1869).
“MY DEAR PETER,--You ask my advice upon the most momentous event in
your life.... You are both artists, both make capital out of your
talents; but while she has made both money and fame, you have
hardly begun to make your way, and God knows whether you will ever
attain to what she has acquired. Your friends know your gifts, and
fear they may suffer by your marriage--I think otherwise. You, who
gave up your official appointment for the sake of your talent, are
not likely to forsake your art, even if you are not altogether
happy at first, as is the fate of nearly all musicians. You are
proud, and therefore you find it unpleasant not to be earning
sufficient to keep a wife and be independent of her purse. Yes,
dear fellow, I understand you well enough. It is bitter and
unpleasant. But if you are both working and earning together there
can be no question of reproach; go your way, let her go hers, and
help each other side by side. It would not be wise for either of
you to give up your chosen vocations until you have saved enough to
say: ‘This is _ours_, we have earned it in common.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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