"I was ill, I doubted my strength and my aims; I thought I should have
to renounce everything, and my greatest fear was of the length of a
life which can be but an atrocious burden if one renounces the highest
aims. I am now saner and freer, and I can consider without torturing
myself the duties I have to fulfil. How many times I have wished you
near me to ask you some question which only a moral being higher than
myself could answer! Your book gives me answers to such of these
precise questions as touch me. I don't think I can ever be satisfied
with my conduct, if I have not first your approbation. But it is
possible that your book is a severer judge than you would be yourself.
What should a man do, if, in comparing his life to yours, he does not
wish to be taxed with unmanliness? I often ask myself this. He ought to
do everything you have done and no more. But doubtless he could not;
he lacks that sure guide, the instinct of a love that is always ready
to give itself. One of the most elevated of moral themes _[einer der
höchsten Motive]_ that I have discovered, thanks to you, is maternal
love without physical bonds between the mother and the child. It is one
of the most magnificent manifestations of _Caritas._ Give me a little
of that love, dear lady and dear friend, and think of me as one of
those who need to be the son of such a mother. Ah! such a great need!
"We shall have lots of things to say to one another when we meet at
Bayreuth. At present I again have hopes of being able to go, whereas,
these two past months, I had put the very thought away from me. How I
should like to be now the _saner_ of us two, and capable of rendering
you a service!
"Why can't I live near you?
"Adieu; I am and I remain, in all truth, yours,
"FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE."
Fräulein von Meysenbug answered at once. "If my book had only been
worth this joy, your letter to me, I would have been happy to have
written it. If I can help you, I want to do so. Next winter, leave
Basle, you must; look for a milder climate and a brighter one; how I
feel, as you do, the annoyance of our separation. I sheltered this
winter your young Basle pupil, Alfred Brenner, who is still ill; you
shall bring him back to me. I will be able to find the two of you a
health-giving home. Come, promise me." Nietzsche wrote immediately:
"To-day I shall answer you in one word; thank you, I shall come."
Assured henceforth of sanctuary, Friedrich Nietzsche regained
confidence and courage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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