“No; my trouble was Love. A love unsought that met me smiling, that I did not seek, that I even fought against for awhile. “But my loneliness, my unceasing yearning for affection, conquered me; first I let myself be loved, then I more than loved in return, and at last a separation became inevitable--a separation absolute as death. That is all. I am slowly recovering, but health such as this is sad. I will say no more.... “I am glad my _Beatrice_ pleases you. I am going to Weimar, where it is now in rehearsal, to conduct a few performances in April, then I shall come back to this wilderness--Paris. “Pray, dear friend, that my apathy may become complete, for otherwise I shall have a hard time while _The Trojans_ is in rehearsal. “Good-bye; when I see your dear writing on my desk it calms me for the day. Never forget that.” XXXV THE TROJANS By this time (1863) I had finished the dramatic work on which I had been engaged. Four years earlier, being in Weimar with Liszt’s devoted friend, the Princess of Sayn-Wittgenstein--a woman whose noble heart and mind had often been my comfort in my darkest hours--I was drawn on to speak of my love of Virgil and of my wish to compose a grand opera in Shakespearian style on the second and fourth books of the _Æneid_. I added that I knew too well the misery and worry that would be my fate to dare to embark on such a project. Said the Princess: “Your passion for Shakespeare and love for the classics would indeed produce a work both grand and original. You must do it.” As I demurred, she continued: “Listen! If you draw back from fear of petty troubles, if you are so weak as not to suffer in the cause of Cassandra and Dido, come here no more. I will never see you again!” Once back in Paris I began the poem of _The Trojans_. Then I started on the score, and at the end of three years and a half it was finished. As I polished and repolished it I read it to many of my friends, profiting by their criticism; then I wrote to the Emperor begging him to read it and, should he judge it suitable, to use his influence to secure it a hearing at the Opera. However, M. de Morny dissuaded me from sending my letter, and when finally _The Trojans_ saw the footlights the Emperor was not even present. After many cruel disappointments with regard to the opera,[28] I at last succumbed to the persuasion of M. Carvalho and allowed him to set _The Trojans at Carthage_ (the second section of the opera) at the Théâtre Lyrique. Although he received a Government subsidy of a hundred thousand francs a year, neither his theatre, singers, chorus, nor orchestra was equal to the task. Both he and I made great sacrifices, and I, out of my small income, paid some extra musicians and cut up my orchestration to bring it within his limits.