“I tell you all this with perfect frankness, for I feel so strongly that, as grey hairs come, dreams must be thrust aside--such friendships belong to the happy days of youth, not to the disenchantments of old age. “My future is so short; why indulge in a dream that must fade so quickly? Why create these vain regrets? “In what I say, monsieur, do not think that I wish to wound you, to belittle your remembrance of the past. I respect it, and am greatly touched. “You are still young at heart, and I am old and good for nothing but to keep a warm place for you in my memory. In your triumphs I shall always take a cordial interest. “Again, monsieur, I send you my affectionate regards. ESTELLE F----.” “I have received the books you so kindly sent. A thousand thanks.” _Second Letter._ “PARIS, _2nd October 1864_. “MADAME,--I have not answered sooner, hoping that I might overcome the terrible depression caused by your letter--a masterpiece of sad truth. “You are right to avoid all that might disturb your calm; but be assured that I should never have done so, and that this friendship, for which I so humbly begged, should never have become _burdensome_. (Is not this rather a cruel word?) “But you will take an interest in my career, and for that I kiss your hand with deepest gratitude. Yet, with tears, with importunity, I pray for news of you sometimes. “You talk so bravely of old age that I must e’en be brave too. I pray I may die first that I may send you my last farewell! But if I must hear that you have left this sad earth ... will your son tell it me?--pardon! “Give me, at least, what you would give to the merest stranger--your address at Geneva. “I will not go there for a year, I fear to trouble you; but your address! your address! If your silence shows that you refuse even this meagre concession, you will have put a crown on the unhappiness you might have softened. “Then, madame, may God and your conscience forgive you! “Lost in the cold dark night wherein you have thrust me, I shall wander--grieving, suffering, alone, but still,--Yours devotedly until death, HECTOR BERLIOZ.” MADAME F.’S _Second Letter_. “LYONS, _14th October 1864_. “MONSIEUR,--I write in haste, that you may believe I have no wish to be unkind. My son is to be married on the 19th, and I shall have much to do. “Immediately afterwards I must prepare to go to Geneva--no light task for my weak health. Early in November I leave, and, as soon as I am settled in my new home, you shall have my address, which I do not yet know. “I would have waited to get it from my son, but I feared to pain you by my long silence.”