“Ah, the pain! Madame, forgive me. I can write no more!” _To_ LOUIS BERLIOZ. “_13th November 1865._--Dear Boy,--Your letter has just come, and I want to reply before I go back to bed. “How I suffer! If I could I would fly off to Palermo or to Nice. “It is horrible weather. I have to light a lamp at half-past three. “To-night is our Monday dinner, and as I shall have to get up and go to it, I want to snatch a little sleep first. “I have had no letter from Geneva, but I did not expect one. When one comes my heart lightens and my spirits rise. “My poor, dear boy. What should I do without you? “Can you believe that I always loved you, even when you were tiny? I, who find it so difficult to like little children! “There was always some attraction that drew me to you. “It weakened when you got to the stupid stage and were a hobbledehoy. Since then it has come back, has increased, and now, as you know, I love you, and my love grows daily.” _To_ H. FERRAND. “_17th January 1866._--I am alone in the chimney corner writing to you. “I was greatly excited this morning by the manager of the Théâtre Lyrique, who has asked me to supervise his intended revival of _Armida_. It will hardly suit his pettifogging world. “Madame Charton-Demeurs, who undertakes the overpowering rôle of Armida, comes every day to rehearse with M. Saint-Saëns, a great pianist, a great musician, who knows his Gluck almost as well as I do. “It is curious to see the poor lady floundering blindly in the sublime, and to watch the gradually dawning light. “This morning, in the Hatred scene, Saint-Saëns and I could only grasp hands in silence--we were breathless! “Never did human being find such expression! And to think that this masterpiece is vilified, blasphemed, insulted, attacked on all sides, even by those who profess to admire it. It belongs to another world. Why are you not here to enjoy it too! “Will you believe that since I have taken to music again my pains have departed? “I get up every day just like other people. But I have quite enough to endure with the actors, and, above all, with the conductor. It is coming out in April. “Madame Fournier writes that a friend she met in Geneva spoke warmly of _The Trojans_. That is good, but I should have done better if I had written one of Offenbach’s atrocities. “What will those toads of Parisians say to _Armida_?” * * * * * “_8th March 1866._--Dear Humbert,--I am answering you this morning simply to tell you what happened yesterday at a great charity concert--with trebled prices--in the Cirque Napoléon, under Pasdeloup.