NELSON's health had suffered greatly while he was in the AGAMEMNON. "My
complaint," he said, "is as if a girth were buckled taut over my breast,
and my endeavour in the night is to get it loose." After the battle
of Cape St. Vincent he felt a little rest to be so essential to his
recovery, that he declared he would not continue to serve longer than
the ensuing summer, unless it should be absolutely necessary; for in his
own strong language, he had then been four years and nine months without
one moment's repose for body or mind. A few months' intermission of
labour he had obtained--not of rest, for it was purchased with the
loss of a limb; and the greater part of the time had been a season of
constant pain. As soon as his shattered frame had sufficiently recovered
for him to resume his duties, he was called to services of greater
importance than any on which he had hitherto been employed, which
brought with them commensurate fatigue and care.
The anxiety which he endured during his long pursuit of the enemy, was
rather changed in its direction than abated by their defeat; and this
constant wakefulness of thought, added to the effect of his wound, and
the exertions from which it was not possible for one of so ardent and
wide-reaching a mind to spare himself, nearly proved fatal. On his way
back to Italy he was seized with fever. For eighteen hours his life was
despaired of; and even when the disorder took a favourable turn, and he
was so far recovered as again to appear on deck, he himself thought that
his end was approaching--such was the weakness to which the fever and
cough had reduced him. Writing to Earl St. Vincent on the passage, he
said to him, "I never expect, my dear lord, to see your face again. It
may please God that this will be the finish to that fever of anxiety
which I have endured from the middle of June; but be that as it pleases
his goodness. I am resigned to his will."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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