“This same Mr. Ryan was the ‘Bill’ Ryan who was featured in some of Mr. Kern’s speeches back in the 1910 campaign. He would challenge the correctness of statistics presented on the stump by the Republican speakers to prove that their administration of affairs had been a success. He would point out that figures are misleading unless one knows how to analyze them. “‘They remind me of Bill Ryan’s watch,’ he would say. ‘When the hour hand points to eight and the minute hand to three Bill knows it is half past four.’ “The brightest senate page I ever knew bore the euphonious nickname of ‘Christopher Columbus.’ His real name was Weirisk, but in a moment of facetiousness I bestowed the name of ‘Christopher Columbus’ upon him for no other reason than that he was born and reared at Columbus, Ohio. Though the name finally came to be abbreviated down to ‘Chris’ it was as ‘Chris’ that he was known to scores of correspondents, to whose service he was assigned. He was as keen as a whip and bright as a new dollar, and, withal, had a sense of the dignity of his position and a constant care not to offend any one. “One afternoon I sent ‘Chris’ into the senate chamber to ask Senator Kern if I could see him. When the lad returned he was plainly agitated. He hemmed and hawed and made no response that I could understand. “‘Mr. Ludlow,’ he finally said, ‘I don’t like to tell you what Senator Kern told me.’ “That was interesting. “‘Why?’ I asked. “‘Because it is not a bit favorable to you.’ “‘Oh, pshaw, Chris,’ I insisted, ‘I haven’t got all afternoon to waste. What did he say?’ “‘Senator Kern told me to tell you to go to the hot place,’ answered ‘Chris,’ who looked as if he would gladly have sacrificed his right arm rather than have delivered that message. Just then the senator came out of the chamber shaking with laughter. “A little later another page nearly fell over when Senator Kern, on being told that I would like to see him, asked whether I was ‘drunk or sober.’ Subsequently he made that inquiry so often that the pages, who were my friends, learned to respond instantly, ‘Sober, sir.’ “Senator Kern’s kind heart made him the prey of impecunious and designing individuals who were always trying to ‘touch’ him and seldom unsuccessfully. “One day the senator was called into the marble room by a smooth citizen who said he lived at Elwood, Indiana, and told of meeting the senator there when he was one of the appreciative and applauding auditors. After recalling these pleasant and circumstantial facts he wound up by asking the senator for the loan of the small sum of a dollar, which the senator readily granted, thankful that the request was not for ten dollars, the usual amount.