“I recall a very amusing instance of Kern’s cleverness in the cross-examination of witnesses, which I may be excused for relating. It well demonstrates his ability for quickly and accurately taking the measurement of a witness. We were appearing for the defendant in a damage suit for personal injuries. While having reason to know that the claim of the plaintiff was based on fraud, the truth being difficult of establishment, we realized our client’s danger. The extent and nature of the plaintiff’s injury had been elaborately and with much exaggeration, presented by a bombastic and pretentious doctor, whose use of big words and highly technical scientific terms, with little knowledge on his part as to their meaning, were poured out in a flood before the jury. The appearance of the witness, nevertheless, was impressive, and his statements, freed from the slightest appearance of doubt, were calculated to convince a jury not only of the speaker’s wisdom, but the complete reliability of the conclusions he had reached. We both knew the witness personally and were well aware of his real status among the members of his profession. We not only knew that he was a ‘quack,’ and to a large extent illiterate despite his bold assurance, but were convinced that he was deliberately attempting to establish the plaintiff’s claim by falsehood. How to best show the character of this man to the jury was Kern’s purpose, quickly formed. He must wait until the ‘Doctor’ should be turned over for cross-examination. Mr. Kern began with a few flattering observations calculated to throw the witness off his guard and then, as if to further exploit the scholarly attainments of the witness (knowing full well he possessed none), the examiner quickly asked: “Doctor, in describing the sphincter muscles, please explain to the court and jury the difference, if any, between the functions and location in the human body of the “oribucularis oris” and the “orbicularis ani.” “The doctor, bewildered and as far at sea as a mortal can ever be, overlooking the possibility of any trap, but thinking only of keeping up his front to the jury, replied in his most affable and composed manner: “‘Practically none, Mr. Kern, practically none. The terms are used quite interchangeably.’