The Life of Ludwig van Beethoven, Volume IIThayer, Alexander Wheelock
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The Life of Ludwig van Beethoven, Volume II
Thayer, Alexander Wheelock
Beethoven, Ludwig van, 1770-1827
No lovelier spring than this, that say I and feel it, too, because
I have made your acquaintance. You must have seen for yourself that
in society I am like a frog on the sand which flounders about and
cannot get away until some benevolent Galatea puts him into the
mighty sea again. I was right high and dry, dearest Bettine, I was
surprised by you at a moment when ill-humor had complete control
of me; but of a truth it vanished at sight of you, I knew at once
that you belonged to another world than this absurd one to which
with the best of wills one cannot open his ears. I am a miserable
man and am complaining about the others!!--Surely you will pardon
this with your good heart which looks out of your eyes and your
sense which lies in your ears--at least your ears know how to
flatter when they give heed. My ears, unfortunately, are a barrier
through which I cannot easily have friendly intercourse with
mankind--otherwise!--Perhaps!--I should have had more confidence in
you. As it is I could only understand the big, wise look of your
eyes, which did for me what I shall never forget. Dear Bettine,
dearest girl! Art!--who understands it, with whom can one converse
about this great goddess!--How dear to me are the few days in
which we chatted, or rather corresponded with each other, I have
preserved all the little bits of paper on which your bright,
dear, dearest answers are written. And so I owe it to my bad ears
that the best portion of these fleeting conversations is written
down. Since you have been gone I have had vexatious hours, hours
of shadow, in which nothing can be done; I walked about in the
Schönbrunn Alley for fully three hours after you were gone, and on
the bastion; but no angel who might fascinate me as you do, Angel.
Pardon, dearest Bettine, this departure from the key. I must have
such intervals in which to unburden my heart. You have written to
Goethe, haven’t you?--would that I might put my head in a bag so
that I could see and hear nothing of what is going on in the world.
Since you, dearest angel, cannot meet me. But I shall get a letter
from you, shall I not?--Hope sustains me, it sustains half of the
world, and I have had her as neighbor all my life, if I had not
what would have become of me?--I am sending you herewith, written
with my own hand, “Kennst du das Land,” as a souvenir of the hour
in which I learned to know you, I am sending also the other which I
have composed since I parted with you dear, dearest heart!
Herz, mein Herz, was soll das geben,
Was bedränget dich so sehr?
Welch ein fremdes, neues Leben!
Ich erkenne dich nicht mehr.
Yes, dearest Bettine, answer this, write me what it is shall happen
to me since my heart has become such a rebel. Write to your most
faithful friend--
Beethoven.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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