The Life of Rev. David Brainerd, Chiefly Extracted from His DiaryBrainerd, David
Religion
The Life of Rev. David Brainerd, Chiefly Extracted from His Diary
Brainerd, David
Indians of North America -- Missions -- Early works to 1800
On Thursday of this week, (Sept. 17,) when he went out of his
lodging-room for the last time, he was again visited by his brother
ISRAEL, who continued with him till his death. On that evening he was
taken with something of a diarrhea, which he looked upon as another sign
of his approaching death; whereupon he expressed himself thus: “Oh, the
glorious time is now coming! I have longed to serve God perfectly: now
God will gratify those desires!” And from time to time, at the several
steps and new symptoms of the sensible approach of his dissolution, he
was so far from being sunk or depressed in spirits, that he seemed to be
_animated_ and made more cheerful, as being glad at the appearance of
death’s approach. He often used the epithet _glorious_, when speaking of
the day of his death, calling it that _glorious day_. And as he saw his
dissolution gradually approaching, he talked much about it; and with
perfect calmness spoke of a future state. He also settled all his
affairs, giving directions very particularly and minutely concerning
what he would have done in one respect and another after his decease.
And the nearer death approached, the more desirous he seemed to be to
depart. He several times spoke of the different kinds of willingness to
die; and represented it as an ignoble, mean kind, to be willing to leave
the body only to get rid of pain; or to go to heaven only to get honor
and advancement there.
_Sept. 19._—“Near night, while I attempted to walk a little, my thoughts
turned thus: ‘How infinitely sweet to love God, and be all for him!’
Upon which it was suggested to me, ‘You are not an angel, not lively and
active.’ To which my whole soul immediately replied, ‘I as sincerely
desire to love and glorify God as any angel in heaven.’ Upon which it
was suggested again, ‘But you are filthy, not fit for heaven.’ Hereupon
instantly appeared the blessed robes of Christ’s _righteousness_, in
which I could not but exult and triumph; and I viewed the infinite
excellency of God, and my soul even broke with longings that God should
be glorified. I thought of dignity in heaven, but instantly the thought
returned, ‘I do not go to heaven to get honor, but to give all possible
glory and praise.’ O how I longed that God should be glorified on
_earth_ also! O I was _made_ for eternity, if God might be glorified!
Bodily pains I cared not for; though I was then in extremity, I never
felt easier. I felt willing to glorify God in that state of bodily
distress as long as he pleased I should continue in it. The grave
appeared really sweet, and I longed to lodge my weary bones in it; but O
that God might be glorified! this was the burden of all my cry. O I knew
that I should be active as an angel in heaven, and that I should be
stripped of my filthy garments! so that there was no objection. But, O
to love and praise God more, to please him for ever! this my soul panted
after, and even now pants for, while I write. Oh that God might be
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