20. Many other things I should like to say of him, if I were not afraid, my father, that you will say, Why does she meddle here? and it is in that fear I have written this. So I leave the subject, only saying that his last end was like his life--preaching to, and exhorting, his brethren. When he saw that the end was comes he repeated the Psalm, [19] "Lætatus sum in his quæ dicta sunt mihi;" and then, kneeling down, he died. 21. Since then, it has pleased our Lord that I should find more help from him than during his life. He advises me in many matters. I have often seen him in great glory. The first time he appeared to me, he said: "O blessed penance, which has merited so great a reward!" with other things. A year before his death, he appeared to me being then far away. I knew he was about to die, and so I sent him word to that effect, when he was some leagues from here. When he died, he appeared to me, and said that he was going to his rest. I did not believe it. I spoke of it to some persons, and within eight days came the news that he was dead--or, to speak more correctly, he had begun to live for evermore. [20] 22. Behold here, then, how that life of sharp penance is perfected in such great glory: and now he is a greater comfort to me, I do believe, than he was on earth. Our Lord said to me on one occasion, that persons could not ask Him anything in his name, and He not hear them. I have recommended many things to him that he was to ask of our Lord, and I have seen my petitions granted. God be blessed for ever! Amen. 23. But how I have been talking in order to stir you up never to esteem anything in this life!--as if you did not know this, or as if you were not resolved to leave everything, and had already done it! I see so much going wrong in the world, that though my speaking of it is of no other use than to weary me by writing of it, it is some relief to me that all I am saying makes against myself. Our Lord forgive me all that I do amiss herein; and you too, my father, for wearying you to no purpose. It seems as if I would make you do penance for my sins herein. 1. Ch. xxv. § 20. 2. See ch. xxviii. § 5, and ch. xxix. § 1. The vision took place, it seems, on the 29th June. See ch. xxix. § 6. 3. See ch. vii. § 12. 4. See Anton. a Spiritu Sancto, Direct. Mystic. tr. iii. disp. v. § 3. 5. See Inner Fortress, vi. 8, § 3. 6. § 17, infra. 7. See Relation, vii. § 26. 8. Inner Fortress, vi. 8, § 3. 9. Ch. xxv. § 1. 10. Cant. vi. 4: "Averte oculos tuos a me, quia ipsi me avolare fecerunt." St. John of the Cross, Mount Carmel, bk. ii. ch. xxix. n. 6, Engl. trans. 11. Acts x. 34: "Non est personarum acceptor Deus." 12. St. Luke xxiii. 28: "Filiæ Jerusalem, nolite flere super Me, sed super vos ipsas flete." 13. St. Matt. xxvii. 32: "Hunc angariaverunt ut tolleret crucem Ejus." 14. St. John x. 20: "Dæmonium habet et insanit: quid Eum auditis?" 15. Sap. v. 4: "Nos insensati vitam illorum æstimabamus insaniam."