In fine, having lost all hopes of pleasing the Ministry, he began to think in good earnest of retiring into some other Country. January 4, 1630, he writes to his brother, "I am wholly taken up with the thoughts of settling in some part where I may live more commodiously with my family." The first condition that he required was liberty of conscience. Some advised his going to Rome, because Pope Urbin VIII. was a great Poet, and loved men of learning[161]. He thought the proposal very ridiculous, and joked on it to his brother. December 27, 1630, he writes to him, "It is not reasonable that I should be always in suspense. I shall leave this country too late, but I shall certainly leave it soon." What heightened his embarrassment was his uncertainty where to go. He writes to his brother, April 4, 1631, "I must speedily come to a resolution: provisions become every day dearer, and the payment of my Pension more uncertain: would it be proper to return to my Country by stealth, and with so little hopes, after doing her so great service? My Countrymen have not the same sentiments for me that I have for them." FOOTNOTES: [153] Ep 64. p. 773. [154] Ep. 65. p. 773. [155] Ibid. 67. p. 774. [156] Ibid. 68. p. 774. 69. p. 775. 7. p. 775. [157] Ibid. 79. p. 778. [158] Ep. 149. p. 84. [159] Ep. 267 p. 100. [160] Ibid. 201. p. 72. [161] Ep. 85. p. 780. XI. In fine, upon mature consideration, trusting to the good-will of his friends, and the protestations of friendship from the Prince of Orange, he ventured to return to Holland. He had always secretly wished to be restored; but, however ardent this desire might be, he was incapable of purchasing his restoration by any acts of meanness. They had discovered his inclination; and in 1623 a rumour spread that he was seeking to be reconciled to the States-General. He was sensible this report had reached Du Maurier, and therefore wrote to him on the 24th of September[162] that there was nothing in it; that the times were not favourable, and that the publication of his _Apology_ put an obstacle in the way of his return. Du Maurier was of the same opinion[163], and no body had better opportunities of knowing the disposition of mens minds and the situation of affairs. However in the year following Du Maurier began to entertain better hopes. Being come back from Holland to France, he wrote to Grotius that his affairs went on so well, he might flatter himself with the prospect of returning: but this agreed ill with other advices received by Grotius; and he wrote to Du Maurier, July 30, 1624, that he consulted his ancient friendship more than the situation of affairs; that his enemies were so powerful he did not see there could be any hopes for him; and that he was endeavouring to provide himself with patience to support perpetual banishment and the inconveniences annexed to that unhappy situation.