The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
“Dear brethren, I have been asked to say a few words to you at this time
instead of preaching the customary sermon. What I wish to say to each
and every one of you whom I see assembled before me--and what I think
it is the intention of your churchwardens that I should communicate to
you--is that there will be no sermon in this church to-night. Let us
sing, to the praise and glory of God, the ninety-second Hymn.”
He easily caught the late train to London, though the evening service
in respect of trains is much more irregular than that at which he had
presided in the church.
The Reverend Herbert Gilliman, B.A.Oxon, never received preferment; but
some one remarked to me after his death, when touching on his career,
that far less worthy parsons had been appointed to a cure of souls
by the patrons of livings, without the parishioners having any voice
whatever in the matter.
I agreed with him, and said that I thought they managed these things
better in Scotland, where the candidate minister preached once or twice
to the congregation to allow of their judging of his powers before they
accepted him.
“Yes,” he assented. “I think that the application of the hire-purchase
system in these matters is highly desirable.”
“It's not exactly the hire-purchase system,” said a purist in phrases.
“It is more of the 'on sale or return' system of business.”
“What was in my mind,” said a third, “was a tasting order for spirits in
bond.”
III.--THE BIBLE CLASS
I prefaced my repetition of passages in the career of the Reverend
Herbert Gilliman with an expression of my belief that he was the
only cleric in Broadminster who suggested to me one of the slightly
shop-soiled clergymen in Anthony Trollope's Barchester novels. Of the
ladies of the Close or the ladies of the Palace I have never heard of
one who, in the remotest degree, suggested a relationship with Mrs.
Proudie.
I have heard, however, of the recent appearance of a lady, who is said
to have an intimate acquaintance with the Greek language, at the weekly
meeting of the Bible class, presided over by the Dean, who, it is said,
has also got some knowledge of the same tongue. The Minster Bible class
is one of the most exclusive of lady's clubs. It is understood that no
one is eligible for membership who has not been presented at Court--at
least so some one, who was not a member, affirmed. Another defined it as
a sort of religious Almack's; but it was a man, and a clergyman into the
bargain, who said it was an attempt to run an eighteenth-century French
salon on Church of England lines.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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