The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
A couple of stalwart porters approached the vendor, saying soothing
words; but he refused to move, and they had to force him to the door.
They did so, however, as tenderly as possible; though he kept on
shouting, as he went reluctantly backward step by step, that the
auctioneer was in a conspiracy to ruin him, allowing his goods to be
taken away for nothing. At last he was in the street and the door was
closed. “Ladies and gentlemen,” said the auctioneer, “I must apologise
for this scene. Such a thing never happened in my mart before, and I
hope it will never happen again. But I know my position, and I've no
intention of breaking faith with the public, whatever that man may do or
say. I hope you'll excuse him; he is really the best judge of antiques
I ever met, but when he gets a drop of drink there's no holding him in.
Now, gentlemen, he'll not disturb us again, and with your leave I'll
proceed with the sale. I'll do my duty by you, and I'll do my duty by
him, whether he has insulted me or not. He maybe an excitable Irishman,
but that's no reason why we shouldn't do our best for him. Fair play,
ladies and gentlemen, fair play to everybody. We must not allow our
prejudices to blind us. You know as well as I do that the stuff is the
finest that has ever come to this town, though the vendor would be safer
in the hands of the police than prowling about as he has been. Now where
were we?--ah, Lot 13--'Chippendale mirror, carved wood, gilt.' There's a
work of art for you. Where did he get hold of such a thing, anyway? What
shall we say for it?”
The thing started at a figure actually above the reserve price that Mr.
O'Shaughnessy had placed upon it, and the bidding went on with a rush.
The next lot--two ribbon-carved mahogany arm-chairs--seemed to be badly
wanted by some one. They were knocked down at a figure twenty-five
percent, beyond the reserve. So it was with everything else in the
collection. Never had there been a more successful sale in the same
rooms.
[Illustration:0327]
So, at least, the auctioneer confessed to the vendor as they dined
together that evening, and the auctioneer was in private life a truthful
man, though not always so rigid in the rostrum.
V. THE ARTFUL AND GOLDSTEIN
Upon another occasion, in the same town, there was a dealer's sale at
an auction mart, and it went off pretty well, though naturally a good
many lots remained undisposed of at the close, for on every article
there was a reserve price representing the profit to accrue to the
vendor, with the auctioneer's usual ten per cent. One of the unsold
pictures had attracted the attention of a gentleman who had bid as far
as twelve pounds for it, and when the sale was over he remained in the
mart waiting to see if it should be claimed by a dealer, so that he
might have a chance of getting it at a slight advance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account