The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
THE MILD AND BASHFUL ENTERPRISE of Mallingham is made to look
ridiculous when contrasted with the unblushing business energy of
Burford, that bustling town of twenty thousand inhabitants at the
farther end of Nethershire. Burford lends itself as an awful example of
what can be accomplished by that dynamic element known as “push.” It was
born picturesque, but has since become prosperous. Its Corporation has
long ago done away with all those features of interest to antiquarians
which are ineradicable in Mallington, however earnestly the ambitious
Council of the latter may labour for their annihilation; so although
strangers knowing something of the early history of Burford, come to it
expecting to find it the “dear old quaint place” of the girl with the
camera, they bicycle away before accepting the hospitality offered by
the bill of fare displayed in the broad windows of the double-fronted
modern restaurant lately set up by Messrs. Caterham & Co., of London,
where the old conduit house, mentioned in the guide-books, stood for
centuries, in the High Street. The Corporation are, it is rumoured,
meditating the advisability of altering the name of the High Street into
the King's Parade. The sooner they make a move in this direction the
better it will be for all concerned; for undoubtedly, as the Mayor
recently pointed out, the town has passed out of the category of towns
with a High Street, and may claim to be admitted into the select circle
of those with their Royal Avenues and Princes' Promenades.
So why not make a bold step forward with King's Parade?
Why not indeed?
The invasion of Burford by Messrs. Caterham, with their score of little
marble tables and a choice of four dishes for luncheon, was equivalent
to putting the seal of modernity upon the old High Street; but its claim
to compete in its extent of plate-glass frontage with the most advanced
centres of business enterprise, was long ago proved by the establishment
of Messrs. Shenstone's fine “drapery emporium” (vide advertisements)
on the site of the old Castlegate Inn. It is said that even in the
difficult matter of supplying sables to suit all classes of customers
this house can hold its own with any in the trade.
A customer enters with an inquiry for a set of sables.
“Forward furs,” the shopwalker commands--he actually is a full corporal
in the Territorials--and the lady finds herself confronted at the
counter by a young man with a Bond Street frock-coat and a Regent Street
smile, who says--
“Sables, madam? Certainly.”
He leaves her for a few moments and returns with an armful of furs,
which he displays, laying each piece over his arm and smoothing it down
as if it were--well, a sort of cat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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