The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
“Price, madam?” He refers to a ticket. “Two hundred guineas, madam--all
Russian. Something not quite so expensive? Certainly, madam.” Once again
he goes away and returns with another armful. “These are quite superior
furs, madam. Real sable? Certainly, madam, real Musquash sable.
Sixty-five pounds. Something cheaper, madam? Certainly. I have a very
nice line of inexpensive sables that I think you will like.” He beckons
to a young lady farther up the counter, and she brings him a bundle of
tawny skins, which he displays as before. “A very nice line, madam--very
chaste and showy. Real sable? Oh, certainly--real electric sable, every
piece. Price, madam? Nine guineas, including muff. Something cheaper
still? Certainly, madam.” He climbs up a small and handy ladder and
lifts down a large pasteboard box full of furs. “These, madam--very
tasteful--large amount of wear--sell a great number of these. Real
sable? Certainly, madam, real rabbit sable, thirty-nine and eleven.
Something rather less? Certainly, madam.” He pulls down another box,
takes off the lid, and exposes skins. “Nice lot these, madam, very
highly thought of--largely worn in London this season. Real sable,
madam? Certainly, madam--real ox-tail sable, ten and six the set. Shall
we send them? Thank you. What name, please? Johnston--with the t? Thank
you. And the next article, madam? Oh yes, this afternoon for certain.”
That is the sort of business house you find in the High Street, Burford,
in these days; so that there can hardly be a doubt that it is time the
thoroughfare changed its name to King's Parade. If people want genuine
ox-tail sables they will go to a King's Parade for it much more readily
than they would to a High Street. But there is a deeper depth in sables
that a customer can only reach in a Royal Avenue; this is the genuine
charwoman's sable at three and eleven, muff included. Messrs. Shenstone
& Co. are, however, select and conscientious; they will not sell you as
the real article anything that will not bear the closest scrutiny, and
their ox-tail sable marks the limit to which they will go. It may
be foolish in these go-ahead days to have any scruples, but Messrs.
Shenstone are ready to submit to any reproach rather than to give a
customer, however humble, a misleading description of any article.
II.--LIBRARIANS WHILE YOU WAIT
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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