The Lights and Shadows of Real LifeArthur, T. S. (Timothy Shay)
General
The Lights and Shadows of Real Life
Arthur, T. S. (Timothy Shay)
Conduct of life -- Fiction; Temperance -- Fiction
It was near the middle of the day when Mr. Martin became fully awake
and conscious of his condition. If he had sought forgetfulness of
the past night's debauch and degradation, the sad, reproving face of
his wife, pale and languid from anxiety and watching, would too
quickly have restored the memory of his fall.
The very bitterness of his self-condemnation--the very keenness of
wounded pride irritated his feelings, and made him feel gloomy and
sullen. He felt deeply for his suffering wife--he wished most
ardently to speak to her a word of comfort, but his pride kept him
silent. At the dinner hour, he eat a few mouthfuls in silence, and
then withdrew from the table and left the house to attend to his
ordinary business. On his way to his office, he passed a hotel where
he had been in the habit of drinking. He felt so wretched--so much
in want of something to buoy up his depressed feelings, that he
entered, and calling for some wine, drank two or three glasses.
This, in a few minutes, had the desired effect, and he repaired to
his office feeling like a new man.
During the afternoon, he drank wine frequently; and when he returned
home in the evening, was a good deal under its influence; so much
so, that all the reserve he had felt in the morning was gone. He
spoke pleasantly and freely with his wife--talked of future schemes
of pleasure and success. But, alas! his pleasant words fell upon her
heart like sunshine upon ice. It was too painfully evident that he
had again been drinking--and drinking to the extent of making him
altogether unconscious of his true position. She would rather a
thousand times have seen him overwhelmed by remorse. Then there
would have been something for her hope to have leaned upon.
Day after day did Mr. Martin continue to resort to the wine-cup.
Every morning he felt so wretched that existence seemed a burden to
him, until his keen perceptions were blunted by wine. Then the
appetite for something stronger would be stimulated, and draught
after draught of brandy would follow, until when night came, he
would return home to agonize the heart of his wife with a new pang,
keener than any that had gone before.
Such a course of conduct could not be pursued without its becoming
apparent to all in the house. Mrs. Martin had, therefore, added to
the cup of sorrow, the mortification and pain of having the
servants, and her child daily conscious of his degradation. Poor
little Emma would shrink away instinctively from her father when he
would return home in the evening and endeavour to lavish upon her
his caresses. Sometimes Mr. Martin would get irritated at this.
"What are you sidling off in that way for, Emma?" he said,
half-angrily, one evening, when he was more than usually under the
influence of liquor, as Emma shrunk away from him on his coming in.
The little girl paused and looked frightened--glancing first at her
mother, and then again, timidly, at her father.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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