The Lincoln Story Book: A Judicious Collection of the Best Stories and Anecdotes of the Great President, Many Appearing Here for the First Time in Book Form
History
The Lincoln Story Book: A Judicious Collection of the Best Stories and Anecdotes of the Great President, Many Appearing Here for the First Time in Book Form
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
"Still the question is not whether the Louisiana Government, as it
stands, is quite all that is desirable. The question is, Will it be
wiser to take it as it is, and help to improve it, or to reject and
disperse?... Concede that the new government is to what it should be as
the egg to the fowl, we shall sooner have the fowl by hatching the egg
than by smashing it. (Laughter.)"--(Speech by A. Lincoln, his last! in
answer to a serenade at the White House, 11th April, 1865, amid
illuminations for the victories.)
* * * * *
TOO BUSY TO GO INTO ANOTHER BUSINESS.
There came into the presidential hearing a man of French accent from
New Orleans. He was evidently a diffident person, not knowing how
precisely to state his case. But the burden of it was that he was a
real-estate holder in New Orleans, and, since the advent of military
rulers there, he could not collect his rents, his living.
"Your case, my friend," said the President, "may be a hard one, but it
might be worse. If, with your musket, you had taken your chances with
the boys before Richmond, you might have found your bed and board
before now! But the point is, what would you have me do for you? I have
much to do, and the courts have been opened to relieve me in this
regard."
The applicant, still embarrassed, said: "I am not in the habit of
appearing before _big men_."
"And for that matter," it was quickly responded, "you have no need to
change your habit, for you are not before very big men now;" playfully
adding: "I am too busy to go into the rent-collection business."
* * * * *
THE SCALE OF REBELS.
When, at the finale, Lincoln reproved his own wife for using the
hackneyed expression of rebels, suggesting Confederates, as officially
accepted on both sides, a wit commented:
"The Southerners will be like the Jews. As a poor one is simply a Jew,
a rich one a Hebrew, and a Rothschild an Israelite, so it will be
rebels, Confederates, and our Southern brothers anew!"
* * * * *
ONE WAR AT A TIME.
When the Austrian archduke, Maximilian, was foisted upon Mexico as its
emperor by Napoleon III., the Southerners, who did not have their
"bellyful of fighting" by 1864, more than hinted that they would range
shoulder to shoulder with the Federals to try to expel him and the
mercenary Marshal Bazaine. But the President returned sagaciously:
"One war at a time!"
It was under his successor, Johnson, that the expulsion was effected
and the upstart executed by the exasperated Mexicans themselves.
(NOTE.--This was undoubtedly said, but Mr. Henry Watterson, in his
lecture on Lincoln, dates it as at the commencement of the war, when
Secretary Seward, to forestall possible European alliances in favor of
the Confederate States, proposed waging war against France and Spain,
already allied, and challenging Russia and England to follow.)
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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