England -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction; Paris (France) -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
"Pardon me," said Audrey. "I don't think you've sacrificed anything to it.
You just enjoy bossing other people above everything, and it gives you
every chance to boss. And you enjoy plots too, and look at the chances you
get for that'. Mind you, I like you for it. I think you're splendid. Only
_I_ don't want to be a monomaniac, and I won't be." Her convictions seemed
to have become suddenly clear and absolutely decided.
"Do you mean to infer that I am a monomaniac?" asked Rosamund, raising her
eyebrows--but only a little.
"Well," said Audrey, "as you mentioned frankness--what else would you call
yourself but a monomaniac? You only live for one thing--don't you, now?"
"It is the greatest thing."
"I don't say it isn't," Audrey admitted. "But I've been thinking a good
deal about all this, and at last I've come to the conclusion that one
thing-isn't enough for me, not nearly enough. And I'm not going to be
peculiar at any price. Neither a fanatic nor a monomaniac, nor anything
like that."
"You are in love," asserted Rosamund.
"And what if I am? If you ask me, I think a girl who isn't in love ought to
be somewhat ashamed of herself, or at least sorry for herself. And I am
sorry for myself, because I am not in love. I wish I was. Why shouldn't I
be? It must be lovely to be in love. If I was in love I shouldn't be _only_
in love. You think you understand what girls are nowadays, but you don't. I
didn't myself until just lately. But I'm beginning to. Girls were supposed
to be only interested in one thing--in your time. Monomaniacs, that's what
they had to be. You changed all that, or you're trying to change it, but
you only mean women to be monomaniacs about something else. It isn't good
enough. I want everything, and I'm going to get it--or have a good try for
it. I'll never be a martyr if I can help it. And I believe I can help it. I
believe I've got just enough common sense to save me from being a martyr
--either to a husband or a house or family--or a cause. I want to have a
husband and a house and a family, and a cause too. That'll be just about
everything, won't it? And if you imagine I can't look after all of them at
once, all I can say is I don't agree with you. Because I've got an idea I
can. Supposing I had all these things, I fancy I could have a tiff with my
husband and make it up, play with my children, alter a dress, change the
furniture, tackle the servants, and go out to a meeting and perhaps have a
difficulty with the police--all in one day. Only if I did get into trouble
with the police I should pay the fine--you see. The police aren't going to
have me altogether. Nobody is. Nobody, man or woman, is going to be able to
boast that he's got me altogether. You think you're independent. But you
aren't. We girls will show you what independence is."
"You're a rather surprising young creature," observed Rosamund with a
casual air, unmoved. "You're quite excited."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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