The Literary Shop, and Other TalesFord, James L. (James Lauren)
General
The Literary Shop, and Other Tales
Ford, James L. (James Lauren)
American periodicals; Authorship -- Humor
The stranger appeared and John arose to greet him. He wore a large
chrysanthemum in his buttonhole and held a macaroon in his hand, which
he nibbled from time to time. His make-up was that of a dude.
“You do not know me, I fear,” he said to John. “I am sadly changed, I
know; but the time was, gentlemen, when I sat at this very table; and,
oh, how I would have enjoyed a night like this!” he added, glancing
significantly at the rueful faces of the two German gentlemen, who were
turning their pockets inside out.
All the members of the club were now listening with intense interest;
and John began with, “Your face, sir, seems strangely familiar--”
“Wait,” said the visitor, with a sad smile, “until you hear my story.
Once, as I said before, I sat in this very game nearly every night; but
now what am I? One day--it was five years ago--some fiend incarnate
led me all unknowing to a reception in an artist’s studio. Tea was
ordered--I partook of it and was lost. Since then I have gone down,
down, down; and to-morrow I leave this city forever. There is but one
thing left for me to do. You will see me no more after to-night. Do
none of you remember Walter Weakfish?”
“Walter Weakfish!” gasped John. “Why, I thought you were in
Philadelphia, doing the ‘Old Uncle’--”
“No,” replied the unhappy young man, “I have been worse than that.
I have been a Society reporter. Yes, it is I who have written about
the lovely ‘Spriggie’ Stone and the queenly Mrs. ‘Jack’ Astorbilt,
who wore a passementerie of real lace down the front breadth of her
moire antique gown. I wrote about those people so much that finally I
imagined that I knew them; and then I borrowed money from people who
did know them, and ordered clothes from their tailors, until now Avenue
A is my favorite thoroughfare. And now I must leave the city forever;
but, Herbert, do you take warning from the wreck you see before you
now. Good-by, my old friends!” And Walter Weakfish started for the door.
“Stay!” cried John. “Can we do nothing for you? Shall we never see you
again?”
“No,” replied Walter, pausing for a moment on the threshold, “never
again: for I am going to Washington to patrol the great national
free-lunch route which they call Official Society, and to write
correspondence for the Western papers. After that, the morgue.”
The door closed, and he was gone. Then a moment’s silence was broken by
a wail of anguish from Herbert.
“Thank Heaven!” cried John, “his heart is touched, and he is saved.
Everybody in the room have something with me.”
And before morning the swelling in Herbert’s head was reduced so
rapidly that he had to drink thirteen hot Scotches to counteract it.
And from that day to this he has never been to another kettledrum, nor
taken anything stronger than rye whisky.
THE STORY OF THE YOUNG MAN OF TALENT.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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