* * * * * An Indiana editor advises people against using a hard pencil, and goes on to tell why. His wife desired him to write a note to a lady, inviting her to meet a party of friends at her house. After “Hubby” had done as his wife desired, and started to post the note, she saw on another piece of paper an impression of what he had written. It was: “Sweet Mattie—Effie desires your company on Wednesday, to meet the Smithsons. Don’t fail to come; and, my darling, I shall have the happiness of a long walk home with you, and a sweet good-night kiss. I dare not see you often, or my all-consuming love would betray us both. But, Mattie dear, don’t fail to come.” * * * * * Harriet McEwen Kimball is responsible for this description of a paroxysmal kiss: “Only the roses will hear; Dear, Only the roses will see! This once—just this! Ah, the roses, I wis, They envy me!” That kiss was clearly _sub rosa_. * * * * * The incongruities in the repetitious mode of singing hymns are shown in such illustrations as these: “Send down salvation from on high” became “Send down sal-.” A soprano in one case sang “Oh for a man,” and the chorus responded, “Oh for a mansion in the skies.” In another case the soprano modestly sang, “Teach me to kiss;” the alto took up the strain, “Teach me to kiss;” while the bass rendered it quite prosaic by singing, “Teach me to kiss the rod.” * * * * * “Punch” publishes the following from its sensational reporter: An appalling tragedy in domestic life has lately scattered consternation in the neighborhood of Bayswater. A newly-married couple, in possession of ample fortune, and moving, it is rumored, in extremely good society, had been observed to live together upon very loving terms, and no suspicion as to their affection was entertained among their friends. It appears, however, that on Monday morning last the young husband left his wife in considerable agitation, having, as he alleged, some business in the city. It has since transpired that he had previously secured himself a stall at Drury Lane for Salvini in “Othello;” and there seems reason to believe that the tragical event which subsequently happened was first suggested to his mind by this most masterly performance. It was noticed by the footman that he did not return until a few minutes before his usual dinner-hour, when, rushing in abruptly, without one word of warning, he proceeded to the bed-chamber where his wife was in the act of dressing for the evening, and before her startled maid could even scream for help, he caught his wife up in his arms in a frenzy of excitement and deliberately proceeded to smother her—with kisses! * * * * * In that very amusing sketch, “Johnny Beedle’s Courtship,” occurs the following droll scene: