An eminent English authoress was leaving an afternoon concert in London, when two old ladies from the country, finding that she was the writer of books that had delighted them, rushed up to her and begged permission to kiss her hand. The authoress blushed deeply, and began tugging at her tight-fitting glove. The glove was only withdrawn after a minute or two of effort, causing much embarrassment to the modest authoress. A French gentleman, who had witnessed the proceeding, remarked that if it had been George Sand she would instantly have thrown her arms around the old women and kissed each on both cheeks. DETECTIVE UTILITY. Some ungallant writers assert that in the desire of the ancients to test the sobriety of their wives and daughters, who it seems were apt to make too free with the juice of the grape, notwithstanding a prohibition to the contrary, originated a practice reprobated by Socrates the philosopher, Cato the elder, and Ambrose the saint, and lauded by lyrists and lovers from the beginning of time. The refinement of manners among the classic dames and damsels before mentioned was probably pretty much upon a par with that depicted in the “Beggars’ Opera,” when Macheath exclaims, after saluting Jenny Diver, “One may know by your kiss that your gin is excellent.” [Illustration] THE KISS IN POETRY. SONNET UPON A STOLEN KISS. Now gentle Sleep hath closèd up those eyes Which, waking, kept my boldest thoughts in awe; And free access unto that sweet lip lies, From whence I long the rosy breath to draw. Methinks no wrong it were if I should steal, From those two melting rubies, one poor kiss; None sees the theft that would the theft reveal, Nor rob I her of aught that she can miss: Nay, should I twenty kisses take away, There would be little sign I would do so; Why then should I this robbery delay? Oh! she may wake, and therewith angry grow! Well, if she do, I’ll back restore that one, And twenty hundred thousand more for loan. GEORGE WITHER. THE KISS—A DIALOGUE. 1. Among thy fancies, tell me this: What is the thing we call a kiss? 2. I shall resolve ye what it is: It is a creature born and bred Between the lips, all cherry red; By love and warm desires fed; _Chor._ And makes more soft the bridal bed. It is an active flame that flies First to the babies of the eyes, And charms them there with lullabies; _Chor._ And stills the bride too when she cries: Then to the chin, the cheek, the ear, It frisks, and flies,—now here, now there; ’Tis now far off, and then ’tis near; _Chor._ And here, and there, and everywhere. 1. Has it a speaking virtue?—2. Yes. 1. How speaks it, say?—2. Do you but this, Part your joined lips, then speaks your kiss; _Chor._ And this love’s sweetest language is.