Perhaps for a single instant one of the idle visions of hope broke in with a ray of light, as I remembered to what stations many young men, situated precisely as myself, had arisen by energy and good fortune; and especially when I thought of Mondejeu, afterwards Maréchal de Shulemberg, whom I myself recollected an unnoticed page in the house of the Duc de Bouillon, and who, by that time, had become governor of the important city of Arras, and was in the road to the highest honours of France. But such dreams were speedily at an end; for every way I turned my eyes, some new circumstance presented itself, to prove my situation more and more hopeless. The final stroke of all, however, was when I considered what would be the feelings of Monsieur de Villardin, if ever he discovered that I had dared to raise my hopes to the hand of his daughter; and still more, if he were to find that I had attempted, by any means, to win her affection. Would he not have a right, I asked myself, to accuse me of the basest ingratitude?--would he not be entitled to charge me with deceit and hypocrisy? Had I not already in some degree betrayed his trust, unconsciously, indeed, but still most foolishly? Ought I not to have looked into my own heart long before; and, judging by what I felt myself, have taken every care to guard against the slightest attempt to inspire the same feelings in the daughter of my benefactor? I could not but acknowledge that if I had acted wisely or prudently, if I had been as watchful for his interests and for his peace as gratitude and affection ought to have made me, I should have played a different part, and avoided the society of her that I loved. I trusted, however, that it was not too late to remedy my folly. Whatever I had inflicted on myself, however irremediable was the state of disappointment and despair to which I had condemned my own heart, I hoped and believed that Laura's feelings had been less interested. If, indeed, there had been anything farther in her sentiments towards me than mere sisterly affection, I trusted that it would soon pass away; and I determined never to see her again till I could command my own demeanour, and behave to her in a very different manner from that in which I had conducted myself of late.