Although the reproof I had received was certainly well merited, and sunk deep into my memory, I nevertheless resolved to expose my own person as much as ever, though at the same time I saw the necessity of being more careful of my troops. For many days, time seemed to have no effect upon the bitter and painful feelings which had taken possession of my heart, and despair was my constant companion. Gloomy, melancholy, and reserved, I avoided the society of my fellow officers; and at night when I was in my tent, I gave myself up to sombre meditations, which consumed in vain regrets the greater part of those hours that should have been devoted to sleep. Not that I did not court slumber with all my heart, for while I was asleep was the only time that I could feel happy, though it was but the happiness of inanition. In order, however, to gain such repose, I was obliged to labour throughout the whole day, and completely to exhaust the body before I could calm the mind. From morning till night I was either on horseback, or working as a volunteer in the trenches, or, accompanied by little Clement de la Marke, visiting the different posts, and endeavouring to give him a thorough and practical knowledge of the duties of a soldier. Wherever the thickest of the enemy's fire was directed, there I was still to be found; yet as I showed myself careful of my troops, my conduct now drew down upon me great praise, although the motive, I am afraid, was the same as before. My little page was indeed a great comfort to me, for quick, lively, inquiring, while he was with me, he gave constant occupation to my mind, and from his prompt powers of apprehension, pleased and delighted, while he furnished me with matter for indifferent thought, and filled the painful moments of leisure. For the first ten days, indeed, of the siege of Valenciennes, we were in no want of employment, for the garrison took every means which skill and resolution could suggest or execute to delay our progress or to compel us to abandon the attempt. As the force within the walls was but small, an effort was immediately made to throw a reinforcement into the place, and this proving vain, means were taken to inundate a great part of the ground within our lines. To remedy this, the cavalry was constantly employed for several days in carrying fascines, for the purpose of forming both a floating bridge and a dike across the inundation, which was not effected without infinite difficulty and loss of time. A worse result also ensued, in consequence of the extensive inundation which the enemy had been able to effect; a violent fever broke out in the camp, and one of the first persons attacked was my poor little page. I loved the boy most sincerely, and I had taken a sort of sad pleasure in winning his affection by every means, and in fancying that _he_ at least would regret me bitterly when I was gone. I now, however, soon saw him reduced to the brink of the grave, and